Just in case you missed it -- how did you miss it? -- there's Emma Gonzalez's incredible speech at Saturday's March For our Lives, during which she pointed out that the attack at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School lasted six minutes and 30 seconds before the gunman hid his AR-15 and slipped out with the escaping students. A couple minutes into the speech, Gonzalez stopped speaking and stood there in silence until a timer went off, and she closed her speech by noting that her entire speech had taken as long as the rampage. She later took to Twitter to point out that the silence hadn't been six and a half minutes -- the silence was shorter:

So how did rightwingers respond to that amazingly powerful voice (and her equally powerful silence)? Easy! By fixating on the fact that Gonzales, who is Cuban-American (her father came to the US in 1968) was wearing a COMMUNIST FLAG!!! And you know what's not allowed in communist countries like Cuba, North Korea, Australia, and Canada? Private ownership of assault rifles, to prevent tyranny! (Happily, in Somalia, everyone can have a Kalashnikov, and look at all the freedom there!). But the point is, obviously this gal is a COMMIE, as Iowa Rep. Steve King's Facebook page bravely pointed out:

Got that? We weren't sure if the "this is how you look" bit was about Gonzalez crying like a wimp just because 17 people were murdered at her school, or because she looks like a commie rebel in that olive shirt and buzz cut, but it's definitely bad to look that way and to wear a communist Cuban flag. If only Cubans had lots of guns, they could have overthrown a corrupt dictator, and that's why Americans need all the guns they can get.

Also, anti-immigrant cantaloupe-head Steve King -- or rather, his campaign staff -- finally found the only Latina in the United States they'll ever criticize for not speaking Spanish.

As WaPo notes, King's campaign team got into some very well-reasoned arguments with people who said maybe it was a low blow to mock a girl who lost friends in a school shooting:

Pointing out the irony of someone wearing the flag of a communist country while simultaneously calling for gun control isn’t ‘picking’ on anyone. It’s calling attention to the truth, but we understand that lefties find that offensive.

A King campaign spokesperson told WaPo this was simply accurate discourse about the communist hellhole future that Emma Gonzalez obviously wants for America:

"[The] meme in question obviously isn’t an attack on her ‘heritage’ in any way,” the spokesman wrote in an email. “It merely points out the irony of someone pushing gun control while wearing the flag of a country that was oppressed by a communist, anti-gun regime. Pretty simple, really.”

You see, this is what the flag of Communist Cuba looks like:

If Gonzalez wanted to wear a flag that reflected her "heritage," she obviously should have worn a patch on her shirt that showed the flag of Cuba before the 1959 revolution, which looked like this:

Hey, Iowa! Remember what this shithead did this fall, will you? Oh lordy, in King's district, they may remember it fondly ...

In other Great Moments in Lying About Emma Gonzalez this weekend, some very clever rightwingers took a photo and a .gif file from a Teen Vogue article, showing Gonzalez tearing up a gun range target, and faked it -- rather badly -- to make it look as if she were tearing up the US Constitution, because isn't that what these kids REALLY want to do? Here's the REAL .gif:

Now look at the faked version, which floated around rightwing Twitter until Adam Baldwin tweeted it to explain that these kids are literally the Hitler Youth (WaPo helpfully notes Vorwärts! -- "Forward!" -- was part of a Hitler Youth marching song):


Donald Moynihan, a professor of government at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, also found an even clumsier 'shop of a still image that a now-suspended troll had tweeted with the comment, "Proudly shredding the Constitution. Horrifying to every educated American."


After the faked images were debunked all across Twitter, some of the people posting them lamely insisted that OF COURSE they were fake, it was SATIRE, and when did they ever claim it was real, huh?

Also, she's not touching you, she's not touching you, why are you so upset, she's not touching you at all, can't get mad.

Several wise people on Twitter have defended the fake images because they might as well be real. Anyone who'd limit magazine capacity or ban high-velocity semiautomatic rifles is literally shredding the Constitution, as everyone will remember from that time between 1994 and 2004 when the federal assault weapons ban was in place and suddenly the entire Constitution was revoked for ten years.

In conclusion, these stupid fucks must be pretty scared if they have to lie about an 18-year-old high school student, the end. Also, here is an actual photograph of US Rep. Steve King of Iowa and his brain:

We wish we knew who did this so we could give 'em credit!

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations; please click here to help us Speak Truth to Dipshits (no, not you, jeeze).

[WaPo / Steve King For Congress on Facebook / Teen Vogue / WaPo]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

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