Did you hear he fucks black guys? He fucks black guys, and he wants you to know that.

False alarm, everyone! All of the intertubes were appalled last week when Donald Trump announced that the latest way he's making his campaign fail is by bringing on Dead Breitbart Dot XXX chairman Steve Bannon as the CEO of his campaign. But Breitbart, especially under Steve Bannon, is insanely racist and misogynistic and homophobic and white supremacist and Donald Trump would never want to be associated with those things, would he? (Of course he would!)

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]But apparently the internet, including Wonkette, was wrong. A Trump surrogate named Steve Cortes explained to MSNBC's Joy Reid that it's unpossible for Breitbart to be TRULY racist and white supremacist, because Breitbart writer Milo Yiannopoulos, the guy who is permanently banned from Twitter for inciting a campaign of racist hate against the amazing Leslie Jones of SNL and Ghostbusters fame, is a verified, gayer than a three-dollar-bill queersexual. And everybody knows that if you are a man and you like dicks, then you are by definition Not Racist.

Here's how it went down:

REID: The Southern Poverty Law Center has described the Trump campaign bringing Breitbart’s Stephen Bannon in as cozying up to the alt-right. And the explainer that Breitbart themselves put up to explain who they are was written by a guy named Milo Yiannopoulos, who who is known as being really sort of a guru to the alt-right — he’s one of the people that hounded a comedian from "Saturday Night Live" off the internet with racist invective. [...]

They are white nationalists. Does that make you uncomfortable to be in the same camp with them?

CORTES: Well, I would say they are nationalists. I wouldn't say they are white nationalists. And Milo, by the way, who you cite, who is certainly the most known member of the alt-right, he’s very provocative. He also happens to be incredibly gay! And very, very public about it.

REID: Does that mean he can't be a white nationalist? You say he can't be gay and a white nationalist? Because you can ...

CORTES: No, but it argues against the idea that it's an inherently sort of racist, retrograde white Christian ...

REID: What does being gay have to do with it? You can be gay and racist.

Um, yeah, a lot of gay guys are really racist, actually. And a lot of them aren't! Straight ladies like dick too! Are they all racist? Or not racist? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY SAYING?

HMMMM. But is Milo racist? He is pretty sure he can't be racist, because he only dates black guys. He's tweeted about his love for "black dick"! (No linky because he's not allowed on Twitter hahahaha.) Here is a video of Milo saying sex words about black ding-dongs in his fanny:

Another time, Milo said a bunch of things on Reddit about a white lady whom he seems to suggest only supports Black Lives Matter because she is into black dudes. It was very racist:

Does she have a blackcent? Is this all a ruse to pick up dark-skinned men, now she’s grown too gigantic to get a white date? Perhaps I’ll write to her in prison. (For some tips, you understand.)

God, he's charming. Rise News emailed Milo to ask about those comments, and whether they were racist, and he said the thing about how black guys fuck his bottom a lot, again:

“Racist? Me? I’ve had more black dick in me than the entire Kardashian family,” Yiannopoulos wrote. “Yes, that’s on the record.”

So, does the amount of black penis Milo sits and spins on actually mean he is a reverse racist, against whites? MAYBE! Milo has looked at himself in the mirror many times and asked himself, "Does this black dick in my butt make me look racist?" and the answer he tells himself is that it makes him look like a non-racist person who gets to say and do whatever racism he wants, because look what's in his butt!

Of course, this is all horseshit. Breitbart Dot Org, Milo, and the entire "alt-right" are all super-racist. We already mentioned the racism he directed in Leslie Jones's direction. You can also read the giant splainer Milo co-authored at Breitbart about what the "alt-right" really is. (SPOILER: It is racist, but they are pretty sure they are cooler and smarter than regular old skinheads.)

What's funny is that Trump surrogate Steve Cortes probably doesn't even know about Milo's affinity for black men, but simply thinks being gay means you're not racist. That is very stupid, and Steve Cortes probably should not talk anymore, the end.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Photo by Daniel Stockman, Creative Commons license 2.0

It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?

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After watching President Arty McDeals twist in the wind for a month, IRL politician Mitch McConnell finally decided to throw the mook a lifeline. Despite constant screaming about women with duct tape over their mouths, Trump is getting blamed for the shutdown and even his own supporters are starting to turn on him. So Ol' Yertle summoned Mike Pence and Jared Kushner to his chambers for some #RealTalk.

"Tell Donald that he has to offer something so it looks like the Democrats are the ones who won't compromise." He said. (Probably.)

"That's great," squeaked young Jared (allegedly), "Democrats are desperate. We've got them right where we want them." McConnell blinked hard.

"No, Jared," he probably said. "They're not going to take the deal. We'd have more luck getting Mexico to pay for it. The point is to offer something silly so they turn us down, and then we try to convince the public that the shutdown is Democrats' fault."

"I don't get it," said Jared (allegedly), as Mother's boy Pence furrowed his brow and sighed through his nose. (Not allegedly, it's his signature move.)

"I know," Mitch might have said. "Believe me, I know."

Which is how President Teleprompter wound up giving a MAJOR ADDRESS yesterday offering to hold off on deporting some of the Dream Act kids for a hot second if Democrats will just give him $5.7 billion for WALL and let him expel future child arrivals without a hearing. Trump himself rescinded protections for up to a million immigrants brought here as kids as soon as he took office, but he'll let some of those hostages go if Democrats will just give him cash for that WALL that Mexico is "indirectly" paying for. Heck, he'll even let 300,000 people who fled war and natural disasters and put down roots here over decades to stay a little longer, if that's what it takes. He plans to deport them all in three years anyway, or else use them for another round of hostage negotiations. (If we re-elect That Orange Idiot, spit on the ground/sign of the horns/God forbid.)

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