How Many Women Got Paid Off To Keep Quiet About Bumpin' Uglies With Donald Trump? Couple Few!

WAIT, WHAT??? Someone threatened Stormy Daniels with violence if she talked about her affair with Donald Trump?

Mika Brzezinski: Was she threatened in any way?

Avenatti: Yes.

Brzezinski: Was she threatened physical harm?

Avenatti: Yes.

Scarborough: Oh, wow!

Oh, wow, indeed! What the hell is going on here? Look, we make fun of Michael Cohen for being the world's worst lawyer. We call him Trump's fixer, sure. But threatening violence? WHOA, IF TRUE!

But Avenatti wasn't done. Here he is on Cuomo talking about all the other women coming forward with similar stories of bumping their bathing suit bits with Donald Trump.

We have been approached by six separate women who claim to have similar stories to that of my client. Two of those women, at least two, have NDAs. We are in the very early stages of vetting those stories.


This is Shelly, Playmate of the Month June 2005. She spanked the president with a copy of Time. This is Tina, Playmate of the Month February 2010. She spanked the president with a copy of Bloomberg Weekly. This is Heather, last seen in Horny Schoolgirls Part 12. She tried to spank the president with a copy of the Wall Street Journal, but he made this weird, high-pitched shriek about the ink or something, and it totally ruined the mood.

Hey, remember that passage from Michael Wolff's Fire and Fury where he quotes Steve Bannon saying,

Look, Kasowitz has known [Trump] for twenty-five years. Kasowitz has gotten him out of all kinds of jams. [...] Kasowitz on the campaign — what did we have, a hundred women? Kasowitz took care of all of them.

We're going to take a wild guess and say that Michael Cohen made such a hash of the Daniels payout precisely because it wasn't his job and he was freelancing. He didn't know what he was doing, and there was no way to reimburse him through the Trump Organization without raising red flags. Marc Kasowitz, Trump's personal attorney, was probably more effective -- which is why you haven't heard from those "hundred women." YET.

But Michael Avenatti isn't a sycophantic bagman like Cohen. He's not a guy who can be baited into disgracing himself once he gets a couple of drinks in him, like Kasowitz. He's not going to get catfished, like Cobb and Dowd. Avenatti's a 47-year-old lawyer from California who understands how to play the media. And he's clearly trying to maneuver Trump into tweeting or smack talking about his client so he can claim Trump breached the NDA first. So let's see if President Impulse Control takes the bait!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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