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roy orbison singing fer the lonely hey that's me and i want you only - WonketteJust when you thought every possible variation of Election 2008 website has already been started and hated, here's one that is actually kind of funny: Lonely Candidate. Whether Republican or Democrat, white or one of the two blacks, Mexican or Mexican Hater, all candidates share one stupid habit: They're all sure they're the "only candidate" to do or promise to do whatever thing candidates do or promise to do, once they're never elected president.


Here are some "fun" highlights from this new website we will try to remember to check on every once in a while:

* Mike Huckabee says he's the "only Republican presidential candidate in the history of the country to go speak to the NEA."

* Dennis Kucinich is the "only candidate willing and eager to challenge the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies."

* Barry Hussein Obama is ""the only candidate that can unite people to get things done."

* Chris Dodd says: "I'm the only candidate that gets mail from the American Association of Retired Persons and diaper service."

Oh this is so awesome. Now we're the only Wonkette Editor that's going to eat some poison, the end.

Because it's lonely being the only [Lonely Candidate]

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On Monday, someone attempted to murder George Soros by putting a bomb in his mailbox. Also on Monday, someone threw a rock into House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy's office. Also, I spilled some hot coffee on myself. These are all things that happened on Monday, and were by some measure unpleasant. While most people might say, "Yes, all of those things are unpleasant, but they are not equal degrees of unpleasant," most people are not Chuck Schumer.

In what appears to be an attempt to get someone on Fox News to describe him as a "reasonable guy," Schumer sent out a tweet today lamenting the "despicable acts of violence and harassment" being done by "both sides."

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Republicans are KILLIN' IT in Florida, you guys! No worries about election day, Gators. It's all smooooooth sailing for the Sunshine State GOP. Just take it from Governor Rick Scott's lead pollster Wes Anderson, who produced a whimsical, unskewed poll for the campaign, featuring nostalgic jams about high Republican turnout in those good old days, telling the Tampa Bay Times,

As the linked slides indicate, Governor Scott currently leads Senator Nelson 51% to 46%, a lead that is outside of the margin of error.

It should also be noted that this sample from last week is very robust at 2,200 interviews of likely voters, stratified by county to reflect historic mid-term turnout. Our sample shows the Republicans with a one-point turnout advantage, even though we believe we will end up with a two- or three-point advantage. For historical context, in the past two mid-term elections Republicans had a four-point advantage in 2010 and a three-point advantage in 2014. At R+1, that makes our current sample a very conservative take on the likely partisan composition of this year's electorate.

NEEDZ MOAR BILL MURRAY.

No other pollster has replicated those numbers, with SurveyUSA, Quinnipiac, and CNN/SSRS all finding Bill Nelson in the lead, but if OnMessage, Inc. says Scott is running way ahead, then it must be true! Only OnMessage promises to "take your principles, your experience, and your opponent's weaknesses to develop a winning message plan that the voters will embrace." And who wouldn't trust a push pollster, right?

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