How Will Ghost Andrew Breitbart Haunt Obama From Beyond the Grave?


Prematurely dead Internet pioneer Andrew Breitbart was working on something major before he died, his unpleasant underlings told LA Weekly. Now there's video from CPAC of Breitbart planning a video (terror) attack that will Bring Down the Obama Presidency! "I've got video, from his college days," Breitbart crows to a rapt yet hooting crowd of geezers. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE? This is just like Easter, with Breitbart as Jesus (everyone knows that) rising up and giving us sick-making treats! Does the video show the president smoking while getting it on with white ladies? Is he smoking crack while getting it on with white ladies? Or maybe it's that colorful felon who has claimed so many times he sexed up Barry in a limousine, for communism?

No, it's just Barry plotting with boring old Bill and Bernadine Dohrn (not even Bill Ayers!), conspiring with "silver ponytail" college professors to take over the presidency. Well, at least Michelle Malkin will be excited, we guess.

Bonus Easter egg for the superfan: Breitbart spends special scorn on Dohrn and Obama plotting with money from the Annenberg Challenge -- "They had real money, from real Capitalists!" said Breitbart, which, yes, "Who gave it on to their children, and their children's children, who became Communists. We've gotta work on that." Mostly, the Annenbergs these days fund lovely little panels about urban design, and also gigantic journalism schools. You could maybe see why that would have bothered Mr. Breitbart, the man who just moments later delights in cleverly calling Harvard "Beirut on the Charles" and also who, duh, hates journalism.

We will be very excited to see Mr. Breitbart's last scoop. We are sure it will be a good one, and not at all a poorly edited smearfest that falls apart at the very first look! [YouTube]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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