Mike "Former Arkansas Governor" Huckabee had his pander on lock in South Carolina today, promising swift rectal justice to those who take issue with the Palmetto State's fondness for the Confederate flag. "In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell 'em what to do with the pole, that's what we'd do," Huckles said, trying to win over a room of leather-clad GOP bondage fetishists. The Stars and Bars, of course, is a litmus test for many South Carolinians, in much the same way that many other nationally irrelevant issues are litmus tests for other retarded voters in places that aren't South Carolina. [Associated Press]