Huckabee Strangely Concedes Nomination
Huckabee is conceding, by talking about baseball. He is crying too! Aww. Now we remember why we liked him once, before we knew anything about his ideas.
9:22 -- Thanks to my wife, who did most of the work for me, as well as the other three campaign staffers.
9:24 -- DING DING DING DRUDGE SIREN DING: It is St. Paul, St. Paul is how he awkwardly brings Jesus into this speech. He told Mike Huckabee to try hard at becoming president.
9:25 -- A mother grew up in a dirt house in Arkansas when she was very little. Was someone's mother. She was my mother. And now her son is a failure.
9:26 -- A person in a wheelchair was so inspired by me that he found a way to give me money. How can anyone in a wheelchair give money? That's how good I am.
9:28 -- "We need to implement the Fair Tax." Aaaaand that's why you lost. That and the whole lack of money.
9:29 -- Remember his obession with horse-fucking?
9:31 -- And now, some beautiful poetry from Mike Huckabee.
9:31 -- The Alamo.
9:31 -- Fell.
9:31 -- To Mexicans.
9:32 -- I fell to a Mexican too.
9:32 -- John McCain is a winding road.
9:32 -- Listen to the judge.
9:32 -- "He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die."