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We liberals sure do love Greta Thunberg. We applaud her speeches, we admire her activism, we retweet her tweets. We categorically deny weird conspiracy theories about her actually being an Australian actress who is being paid to pretend like caring about the environment is a good thing. When well-meaning conservative outlets accuse her of doing witchcraft, we laugh right in their faces. But would we like her so much if, instead of advocating for the world to take climate change more seriously, she were going around talking about how LGBTQ+ people, abortions and sex before marriage are bad and sinful?

Probably not, contends the Illinois Family Institute's Laurie Higgins.

In a post on the IFI website, Higgins details her issues with a Buzzfeed article about how Thunberg and other teens advocating for the environment are getting harassed online by adults. She explains that the problem here is not with these grown-ass adults, but rather with the parents of these girls who let them do activism in the first place.

Buzzfeed has an article about social media attacks on the tweens and teens whom Leftist adults are exploiting as shields by allowing these children to lead the climate change charge.

Since every adult knows what a poisonous and malevolent force social media is, why are these kids' parents allowing them to be exploited by Leftists, thereby becoming social media targets? If Silicon Valley parents and conservative parents can keep their kids from having smart phones, iPads, and social media accounts, can't Greta Thunberg's parents keep her from traveling across the ocean to thunder at adults at the U.N.?

She is particularly upset at a quote from a climate scientist who says that the reason these adults are miffed at Thunberg et al. is because what they are doing is effective. That is not Laurie Higgins's issue with them at all! Her issue, she says, is that they are "kids sanctimoniously lecturing adults." Never mind the fact that these "kids" have skin in this game because they're the ones who are going to have to deal with the consequences of our murdering the planet.

Higgins then asks us to imagine a right-wing Greta Thunberg, and even rewrites one of her speeches to make it about abortion and sex before marriage and pornography and gays and trans people and I think artificial insemination/egg donation but honestly I'm not sure.

My message is that we'll be watching you.

This is all wrong. I shouldn't be up here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hope. How dare you!

You have stolen our dreams and our childhood with your false and destructive words about sexuality. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. The bodies, hearts, and minds of thousands of children in developed countries are being destroyed. We are in the beginning of a mass delusion, and all you can talk about is fairy tales about the existence of 100 genders and if it feels good, do it. How dare you!

For more than 50 years, the hard science has been crystal clear about the reality of biological sex, the health risks of sexual promiscuity, and that the product of conception between two humans is a human being. And social science has been crystal clear about the good effects on children of being raised by their biological parents in an intact family. How dare you continue to look away from both science and morality! You're doing nothing when the politics and solutions needed are still nowhere in sight.

You say you hear us and that you understand the urgency. But no matter how sad and angry I am, I do not want to believe that. Because if you really understood the situation and still kept failing to act, then you would be evil. And that I refuse to believe.

Children are being commodified, with their genetic material bought and sold like meat on a commodities exchange. They are being deliberately denied mothers or fathers. They're growing up in a world awash in sexually transmitted infections and pornography. They're being taught in schools about anal sex and homosexuality. They're being sterilized and mutilated by doctors at the behest of parents. And at the behest of their own mothers, they're being exterminated before they breathe their first breath.

You are failing us. But the young people are starting to understand your betrayal. The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us, I say: We will never forgive you.

We will not let you get away with this. Right here, right now is where we draw the line. The world is waking up. And change is coming, whether you like it or not.

To further point out our dastardly hypocrisy, she sarcastically follows that up by saying

I'm sure inclusive, compassionate, equitable "progressives" fully committed to diversity would welcome such a speech with the tolerance to which we conservatives have become accustomed.

There we go again, with our stubborn refusal to tolerate intolerance, and our insistence upon pointing out when people — children, even — are factually wrong about things. She's absolutely right. If a child were going around saying things like that, we would not agree with them. However, we probably wouldn't go around accusing them of witchcraft or making hilarious "jokes" about them maybe dying at sea. We would probably just quietly think that they were terrible and that their parents were probably also terrible.

And there's even proof of that! When 14-year-old homophobic, white supremacist vlogger Soph threatened to murder YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, another Buzzfeed article led to her getting kicked off of YouTube. Oh, the cancel culture of it all!

We have, in the past, thought many child conservatives were terrible. And conservatives themselves have swooned over children who share their views. There are and have been loads of conservative "child stars" — noted conservateen C.J. Pearson, the USA Freedom Kids (who performed at Trump rallies and later sued him for non-payment), loads of child anti-choicers, and my personal favorite, 8-year-old "Mini AOC," who definitely writes all of her own material.

Mini AOC www.youtube.com

Not to mention the MAGA hat kid, who routinely gets brought up by conservatives absolutely outraged that anyone dared to think he was a smirking asshole, just because he was a smirking asshole.

Now, surely, Laurie Higgins does not see these children as "sanctimoniously lecturing adults," she probably doesn't think they are being brainwashed by anyone — she probably thinks they're fantastic and adorable. If Greta Thunberg did indeed give that speech she wrote and the Left went after her to the way Right is going after her now, we would be accused of trying to take her freedom of speech away, we would be accused of being "intolerant of her intolerance," we would be told we were trying to cancel culture her and that we hate "diversity of thought." The would clutch their hearts and go "But how can you go after a child like that! Why are you so cruel!"

So, you know, it is possible that we're not actually the hypocrites here.

[IFI via Friendly Atheist]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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