On November 3, voters in Iowa will not only get to vote for president, they'll also get to decide if they want Theresa Greenfield to be the new Democratic senator, or if they think Republican Joni Ernst should keep doing a whole lot of fuckall for the state of Iowa while she and the rest of the Republican senators cater to Donald Trump's every whim. What a very hard choice! (If you're dumb.)

The two most recent polls show Greenfield up a couple points (MONEY HER), and man oh man, it would be sweet if Democrats retaking the Senate involved sending Ernst tripping over her bread bag shoes as Iowa voters kicked her ass into a cow pasture, WITH VOTES.

Wonkette wrote about this over the weekend, but it bears repeating now that more Republican senators have weighed in on the subject. Ernst sat down with local journalists on a show called "Iowa Press," and explained that she is an asshole. She didn't say it that explicitly. It wasn't "I'm Joni Ernst, and I approve this message, which is I am such an asshole that if you make me mad, I will castrate your hog!" She simply explained that if Ruth Bader Ginsburg were to die and Donald Trump lost his election in a landslide, she still thinks it would be cool for Trump to get to appoint a Supreme Court justice in January. Why? Because she's an asshole.

What was remarkable was how Ernst didn't even try to explain why she feels this way, aside from how IOKIYAR.



ERNST: We have a Republican-held Senate and a Republican president, so I don't see that there would be any difference between president and the Senate on a selection of a Supreme Court justice.

So because the Senate would like Trump's SCOTUS nominee, then he should get to nominate a Supreme Court justice even if he was about to leave office in five minutes, but Barack Obama shouldn't have gotten to nominate Merrick Garland after Antonin Scalia died in a sleeping accident in February of 2016, which was a full NINE FUCKING MONTHS before the 2016 election?

Try again, asshole.

ERNST: That was a different situation. [...] A Republican-held Senate with a Democratic president, and so we were divided on who that selection would be. This is a different scenario where you have a Republican president and a Republican Senate. There's likely not to be a lot of disagreement when it comes to the selection of a justice.

JOURNALIST: Even in a lame duck session, after the election?

Yes, she said, because apparently Joni Ernst doesn't know fuckall about the Constitution, and appears to think the Senate and the president select Supreme Court nominees together, as opposed to reality, where the president selects the nominee, and the Senate confirms that nominee.

Ernst, of course, sent her thoughts 'n' prayers to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who is fighting cancer again, because Ernst is an asshole.

If you'd like to see what an asshole she really is, Iowa Starting Line has her statement from after a pillow Jekyll 'n' Hyded Antonin Scalia in the middle of the night:

"I support Sen. [Chuck] Grassley's decision to exercise the Senate's constitutional authority to withhold consent to a Supreme Court nomination until the next president is sworn in," Ernst said. "We must wait to see what the people say this November, and then our next president will put forward a nominee."

But this time it's different, because Joni Ernst is an asshole, and also a hypocrite, and in case we forgot to mention, an asshole.

Now other GOP assholes in the Senate are weighing in, saying it would be fine to confirm a Trump nominee for Ginsburg's seat, even if it's two days before Joe Biden's inauguration, just like it wasn't OK for some reason for the Senate to confirm Merrick Garland. CNN had a write-up this week:

"We will," said Sen. John Thune of South Dakota, the second-ranking Republican leader, when asked if the Senate would fill a vacancy, even during the lame-duck session after the presidential election. "That would be part of this year. We would move on it."

In 2016, Thune just really thought the American people should have a chance to vote (and then have their will stomped on by Russia, voter suppression, James Comey and the Electoral College).

Lindsey Graham is still upset about how mean everybody was to Brett Kavanaugh, and after Graham did his best Tammy Wynette in defense of Kavanaugh too! So maybe — but only maybe — he'd just have to be a giant fucking hypocrite too.

"After Kavanaugh, I have a different view of judges," referencing the brutal 2018 confirmation process of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. "I'd like to fill a vacancy. But we'd have to see. I don't know how practical that would be," Graham told CNN Monday. "Let's see what the market would bear."

What-the-fuck-ever, Lindsey.

Know who's actually being intellectually consistent here? Chuck Fucking Grassley, the other senator from Iowa, who chaired the Senate Judiciary Committee in 2016:

"My position is if I were chairman of the committee I couldn't move forward with it," Sen. Chuck Grassley told CNN.

Give that man a free ride on the Iowa butter cow, he's not being an asshole for five seconds.

That other one from Iowa, though? Asshole. No free butter cow rides for that one!

DONATE THERESA GREENFIELD.

[CNN]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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