Image: Igor Bobic on Twitter

Idaho man Josiah Colt, 34, was one of the rioters who proudly swarmed into the US Capitol. In fact, he's the subject of a couple of the more iconic images of the takeover of the Senate chamber, which had to be evacuated Wednesday because he and his domestic terrorist pals were breaking windows and smashing open doors to make their way into the building, and then into the rooms where all of Congress was hiding under desks.

And after bragging on social media about his role in saving America from tyranny through a very reasonable coup attempt, Colt, from the Boise suburb of Meridian, now wants you to know just how sorry he is that he got all swept up in the moment, OK? Particularly because his name and photo are all over the news. Sounds sincere to us!

In a now-deleted comment on a friend's Facebook post announcing their planned trip to Washington, Colt confidently explained, in some very original language,

It's time to fight for the freedom of this country from getting bulldozed by the domestic terrorists in office pushing Chinese communist agendas and ideology while stripping our freedoms away one by one. [...] Now is the time to fight.

Once he got to Washington, Colt remained quite sure of the justice of his cause. In one (also deleted now) video on the eve of the insurrection, he proclaimed "It's definitely going down tomorrow." In another, in which he wears a helmet and a Trump flag tied around his neck, he speculated that the time of purification was at hand, that things might get serious, and that's just how it has to be:

It's time to take back our freedom. It's going to be crazy tomorrow. [...] Praying that everybody are able to prove a point without violence, but you don't know, you don't know how it's going to go down.

Boise TV station KTVB notes that yet another video shows "the aftermath of the Meridian man's companions accidentally releasing bear spray into the van in which they were riding." Truly, these heroes are America's last hope of Liberty.

Once the insurrection got rolling, Colt found himself a real media star. The crowd he was with made it into the Senate gallery, and then he literally went over the edge, as captured by Getty photographer Win McNamee.

Colt then made his way to the dais where Mike Pence had been presiding over the certification of the electoral vote shortly before, and yelled, "Trump won that election!" as one does when you're doing a coup and overthrowing democracy (but, you know, for freedom).

After leaving the Capitol, Colt recorded a couple more videos that were captured before he deleted all his social media accounts; here they are, spliced together to help future ninth-graders write comparison-contrast essays. In the first snippet, he's very excited about having liberated the chamber presided over by "that bitch" Nancy Pelosi, because he literally had no idea where he was. But in the second, he's starting to realize he's not going to be the good kind of famous, and wow, look at him insisting he was only there for a "peaceful protest."

He was just so proud of himself, at least in the adrenaline rush of having participated in the coup attempt:

I just got in, I just got into the Capitol Building. I was the first one, I hopped down into the chamber and I was the first one to sit in Nancy Pelosi's [chair], that bitch, she's a traitor, she's treasonous.

That thrill is gone by the second clip, because oops, people saw him and he's dimly aware he isn't being hailed as a hero.

I don't know what to do. I'm in downtown DC. I'm all over the news now.

But, like, I'm just like every single one of those people that was marching. A peaceful protest, we're here to represent America ... we're tired of being lied to. We're tired of people stealing from us, stealing our freedoms, stealing our liberties. I didn't hurt anybody in there. Like, yeah, I did sit in Nancy Pelosi's seat. She shouldn't be there.

To cap it off, Colt sent a very moving statement to Boise's CBS affiliate in which he said he was ever so sorry and he knows he made a mistake, and look how well he treated the Senate chamber he'd invaded:

I love America, I love the people, I didn't hurt anyone and I didn't cause any damage in the Chamber. I got caught up in the moment and when I saw the door to to the Chamber open, I walked in, hopped down, and sat on the chair. I said my piece then I helped a gentlemen get to safety that was injured then left.

Colt insisted that he was in fact very respectful of the sacred hallowed holy sanctified ground of Democracy that he and his pals had entered after forcing the entire Congress — and the vice president, too, so that's two branches of government! — into lockdown.

While in the Chamber I told the other protesters that this is a sacred place and not to not do any damage. Some of them wanted to trash the place and steal stuff but I told them not to and to leave everything in it's place. We're still on sacred ground.

See what a hero he was? He made sure that his co-conspirators violated the "sacred ground" of the Senate respectfully, so that bitch Pelosi would know how much he cared.

Also he apologized very sincerely, so please forgive him, OK?

In the moment I thought I was doing the right thing. I realize now that my actions were in appropriate and I beg for forgiveness from America and my home state of Idaho.

My intention wasn't to put a stain on our great Country's Democratic process.

Precisely. His intention was to help Donald Trump completely subvert the democratic process because he really sincerely believed Joe Biden stole the election, and isn't overturning a lawful election you think was unlawful actually the most democratic thing you can do?

The TV station's story closes with a note that Colt says he's "speaking with his lawyer to see what his next steps should be."

Golly, we dunno. How about turning himself in, since he's included in a collection of photos of "persons of interest" the DC Metro police would like to speak to?

Or maybe he's angling for a job with One America News Network.

[CBS2 / Idaho Statesman / KTVB / Headline gleefully stoled from a tweet by Michael Ames / Photo: Igor Bobic on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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