Idiot Trump Lady Begs Trump To Protect Planned Parenthood. LOL STOP LAUGHING!
But they won't.
Let's look at our USA Today and see what kind of hard-hitting "news" it's got to share with us today:
Oh for Christ's sake, what have we just gotten ourselves into? Fine, we will read this article by "Melody Forbes," because we are sure she is one of those principled, smart Trump voters literally no one on earth has been hearing about:
I voted for Donald Trump because I wanted to see change in our country. One change I didn’t want to see was access to health care at Planned Parenthood blocked.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/602833/hillary-clinton-just-woman-carded-all-over-planned-parenthood-and-it-was-the-best"></a>[/wonkbar]WELL IT'S A SHAME THERE WERE NO CANDIDATES NAMED "HILLARY CLINTON" IN THE RACE WHO MADE DEFENDING PLANNED PARENTHOOD ONE OF THE LADY CENTERPIECES OF THEIR LADY CAMPAIGNS.
Shall we keep going, or should we just take a shot of Adult Beverage and say fuck it?
Tricked you, we are doing both:
But Republican congressional leaders have already promised to do just that, with a provision to stop reimbursements for the health care Planned Parenthood provides.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/607245/mike-pence-compassionately-wants-to-nationalize-your-uterus"></a>[/wonkbar]No shit, asshole, defunding Planned Parenthood is kind of congressional Republicans' favorite thing. Know who ELSE really jizzes to high heaven over defunding Planned Parenthood? Vice President-elect Mike Pence, Mr. Fetus Funerals himself, the guy Trump picked to ACTUALLY run the place, while Trump's off being a CEO president, Making America Great Again, and taking weekends off.
Thing is, the writer acknowledges all this, but for some reason is skeptical of whether President Trump would actually sign such a bill. Instead of wasting our time speculating why she thinks this, we are just going to assume she is A Idiot.
Skipping way ahead:
My vote for Trump was not a vote against Planned Parenthood.
But kind of it was?
I voted for him based on the issues he campaigned on: creating jobs, making health care more affordable, and making our country great again. I voted for him because I trust him to get our economy moving again.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/600212/donald-trump-will-bomb-sht-out-of-ladies-who-have-abortions-murder-their-families"></a>[/wonkbar]Yep, she's a moron. She thinks Trump was just foolin' when he said women who have abortions should be punished, or maybe she's just holding onto hope based on that one time Trump said he might be open to keeping funding for SOME of the lady services at Planned Parenthood. After all, if Planned Parenthood really does fiddle around in ladies' wherevers to keep them in good working order, then President Grab 'Em By The Pussy surely would want to PROTECT 'Em By The Pussy too, right?
I knew he would have to make promises to appease the anti-abortion wing of the Republican Party. I’m hopeful that Trump will see that defunding Planned Parenthood is the kind of campaign promise he shouldn’t keep. I did not vote to send him to the White House to take away health care from people struggling to get by.
Ahem ... didn't he kind of run on taking healthcare away from ladies and black people (what his supporters think of as "Obamacare," even though millions of them are on it), and isn't that what the Republican Congress is hard at work doing right now?
Anyway, this lady is dumb (and there are others like her apparently), she should have voted for Hillary Clinton, and we are bored now, so fuck it.