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Look at this video.

Look at it.

LOOKIT RIGHT NOW, DICKFACE.

It is Rep. John Lewis, civil rights hero, and verified #OldPerson, and he is cutting a rug like he just doesn't give a care, and if he can do that in these terrible times, SO CAN YOU.


Isn't that the most delightful thing you have seen all millenium?

John Lewis was beaten in Selma, Alabama, while marching for VOTING RIGHTS.

And now we live in Trump's America where the GOP continues to do everything it can -- as it has for decades upon decades -- to keep people like John Lewis from VOTING.

Dearhearts, it is Friday, November 2. Tuesday is November 6, which is the day that if we all vote, we for real get to start taking this country back. But every single one of us has to do our part to Make It Happen Cap'n, so if you have ANY time this weekend, you need to do what you can do to make sure that people who aren't likely to read Wonkette or go to a Stacey Abrams rally or aren't already knocking doors for Beto in Texas or for Andrew Gillum in Florida hear the message that it is not only their right and privilege, but also their responsibility to vote.

We know we are preaching to the choir like a common Oprah, who was preaching to the choir when she took Stacey Abrams's supporters to CHURCH yesterday. That's why we gotta be the ones to take the message further. We personally have already recruited several voters -- that we are aware of -- and we're going to be sending some messages and some texts and if we have time on Sunday, we are going to knock some doors or make some phone calls, to make sure people come out to vote for Phil Bredesen in Tennessee. We don't know what's going to happen on Tuesday, but we don't really believe the latest polls that show Bredesen down -- partially because we think most polls right now are horseshit, and partially because we have lived in Tennessee for years and have an educated hunch about this that NBC/Marist probably can't factor for -- but we want to make sure Bredesen has the best chance possible. Wouldn't it be terrible if we woke up on Wednesday and the Senate was 50/50 with Mike Pence breaking ties because WE DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH?

That would suck harder than having to sleep next to Ted Cruz every night while he tearfully whimpers and jerks off into empty soup cans on the nightstand, ALLEGEDLY.

So talk to "apathetic" voters and tell them why it's important to you that they vote for X candidate. Talk to voters who don't love their candidate or don't feel personally inspired by their candidate or their candidate said a stupid thing -- looking at you, TENNESSEE AND MISSOURI -- and tell them the stakes. Tell them what it means to YOUR life. If possible, tell them what it means to THEIR life. Hell, if that doesn't convince them, tell them that a vote for Claire McCaskill is a vote for Beto. No, really!

And no, Wonkette is not saying to lie to idiots! That would be un-Christian.

You see, if Texas gets out and votes Beto in, and Missouri gets out and votes and McCaskill gets the re-elect, and somehow the #MathScience works out to a 51-49 Democratic Senate, then YOUR VOTE in Missouri helped put Beto into a Senate where he is in the MAJORITY where he can get SHIT DONE while being SEXXXY.

Ask them who inspires them in the Senate. Is it Elizabeth Warren? Is it Kamala? Is it Bernie? Then cool, tell them to get their liberal ass to the polls and pull the lever for Stinky Joe Manchin, to help make sure Elizabeth Warren and Kamala and Bernie have ALL THE POWERS.

If that doesn't convince them, we recommend kidnapping LOL WE ARE TEASING DO NOT COMMIT A KIDNAPPING THIS WEEKEND WONKETTE IS SUCH A KIDDER!

Also, you should dance like John Lewis, even though you are not a good dancer like John Lewis and you'll probably fall down like A Idiot in the process. As the late great Molly Ivins said, if you're fightin' for freedom and justice, you better have fun while you're doing it.

Or if you really hate dancing, just goddamn phonebank and knock on doors, OK?

This has been your Wonkette Inspirational Voting Message.

In conclusion, here is Alex Jones dressed up as a gay frog, and it will ... delight? ... you, just like the John Lewis dancing video.

This is also your OPEN THREAD.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Wonkette is the ONLY NEWS ON THE INTERNET. Please give us money RIGHT THERE BELOW if you want us to live FOREVER.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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