War monster Hillary Clinton was asked why the American Government now spends most of its resources sexually assaulting little children and humiliating cancer survivors in the nation's airports. She said it's totally necessary, for freedom, because as long as the American Government spends the rest of its resources bombing the shit out of Muslims all over the world, furious Muslims will very occasionally try to blow up something in America. And America has no intention of ever stopping its wonderfully successful international mission of blowing up Muslims everywhere -- so the best way to do "intelligence screening" is to have high-school dropouts force U.S. citizens into dangerous cancer machines and stroke the tiny innocent genitalia of American pre-school children. Also, ha ha, like Hillary Clinton is ever going to fly commercial!

But if, for some terrible reasons, Hillary Clinton had to take a normal flight instead of being shuttled around by either the U.S. Government or one of her sleazebag husband's playboy multi-billionaire buddy's private jets, she would totally try to avoid being porno-scanned or sexually assaulted by illiterate TSA goons drooling all over their uniform slacks as they jam their Quiznos fingers up another child's rectum, for freedom:

"Haw haw haw haw haw," says Hillary when asked if she would submit to one of these sex-assault pat-downs. "Not if I could avoid it, haw haw haw, who wouldn't? Haw haw haw haw haw haw." Ha ha ha, it is super funny, Hillary! [YouTube/CBS]