If It's Bernie Or Bust, And It Won't Be Bernie, What Does That Leave?
As hoped for and predictedin this space, the boo-erners were much scarcer for Night Two of the DNC. Rather than continuing to piss off more than 90% of the convention with their rude mouth sounds, they pivoted to not doing that anymore, because they have some damn sense, after all.
Instead, many walked out before Hillary was officially nominated. To be perfectly sincere here: yes, good, and thank you. This is a vastly better form of protest than shouting down speakers. The action is directly responsive to, and feels proportional to, the wrongs that Sanders backers can legitimately claim to have suffered.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/604451/ted-cruz-moons-republican-convention-burns-down-party-unity"></a>[/wonkbar]On that point, should we even call the rejectionists "Bernie supporters" anymore? Bernie himself moved to release his delegates so that Hillary could be nominated by acclimation. He is clearly committed to seeing Hillary elected. Just compare his full-throated endorsement to Ted Cruz's pointed non-endorsement of Trump at the RNC. Or let us compare them for you: One was unequivocal in stating that despite their differences, Hillary Clinton "must" be the next president, while the other was the biggest low-down weasel-worm smirking oily back-dagger we ever saw at a convention, and we have seen, like, eight conventions.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/604680/bernies-dnc-speech-a-much-better-call-for-unity-than-suck-it-up-or-start-your-own-party"></a>[/wonkbar]So where does that leave the Bernie people, whom we shall not refer to as "Bros" because that is pejorative and Robyn is right, we should be nice. Nobody likes a sore winner, even if they are sore because some of these Bernie people have been real pricks, and we're really not sore so much as terrified that Trump will win, and then we'll all come to understand the true meaning of the "Bust" in "Bernie or Bust". (It means we will be the bad kind of fucked, to be clear. Bust = bad fucked.)
Of course, the day didn't lack for silliness, even if the walk-out was a fairly powerful and appropriate gesture. Several rejectionists opted to annoy Buzzfeed by staging a sit-in in that company's section of the media tent. They failed to Snapchat a listicle of
llama gifs doing the ice bucket challenge their demands, however, so it's unclear what they hoped to achieve. Was Buzzfeed supposedly anti-Bernie? The idea never occurred to us, but it won't be the first idea that never occurred to us.
The Washington Examiner collected several quotations from erstwhile Berners, and we hope they focused on reporting the really stupid ones, because many are really stupid ones. To wit:
"Today we were all denied access to democracy," [Alonso] Statham continued. "Being in a wheelchair, I am used to being denied access to all sorts of things. But everybody here was denied access to democracy, denied access to the party."
Alonso Statham said this to the free press, at a political convention to which he freely traveled after freely voting for Bernie Sanders. BUT DID HE EVEN VOTE FOR REAL:
"It was a rigged election, and he wasn't given the votes that he was supposed to get," complained Bill Sifford, an Idaho delegate. "We don't allow that in other countries, we inspect it in other countries. They should have inspected it here. The FEC did nothing. Arizona was stolen. New York was stolen. Massachusetts was stolen."
No they weren't. That's not to say the primary process was unimpeachable. Voting in New York State, we had to cast a provisional ballot because even though we are a registered Democrat, we were an "inactive voter" because we didn't send a special post card to Voting Santa, apparently. (?) And we were pissed off. We asked the guy if this was an issue with a lot of people and he said, "Not really, most people send the post card to Voting Santa." WHATEVER WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO THAT! But Hillary won by 3.7 million votes.
Since our prediction on the Great Quieting on Night Two turned out to be a good one, we'll predict that today, Donald Trump will reveal that he was Bernie Sanders all along, and Bernie Sanders is officially the GOP nominee, lol, no takebacks.