If Kris Kobach Wants To Get Spanked By Another Midwestern Lady With Sensible Hair, Who Are We To Kinkshame?

2020 Congressional Elections
If Kris Kobach Wants To Get Spanked By Another Midwestern Lady With Sensible Hair, Who Are We To Kinkshame?

Kris Kobach is the gift that keeps on giving. In 2018, the Republican secretary of state blew the Kansas gubernatorial race, when voters decided they'd rather hand the reins over to that nice Laura Kelly lady, with her tidy pantsuits, sensible Midwestern hair, and lack of propensity to embarrass herself and the entire state on a national stage. Which is how Kobach wound up losing to a Democrat just two years after Trump carried Kansas by 20 points.

But Kobach was undeterred! He finished up that judicially mandated remedial legal education after the unmitigated courtroom disaster when he decided to defend the state's illegal voter ID laws himself, then he got right back on the horse. And after one or two false starts — like failing to spell his own name properly on the registration — he launched a Senate campaign to replace retiring Republican Pat Roberts.

National Republicans were less than thrilled. In fact, they were downright horrified, with the National Republican Senate Committee accusing Kobach of "simultaneously put[ting] President Trump's presidency and Senate Majority at risk." Kansas Gippers were more sanguine about his prospects, however, and Kobach has led the polls, since Mike Pompeo decided he'd rather scream at lady reporters in Foggy Bottom than freeze his ass traipsing across the amber waves of grain getting GOTCHA'd about his role in the Ukraine scandal at every campaign stop.

The Democratic race appears to have stabilized as well, with Kansas state Senator Barbara Bollier leading the pack for the blue team. Bollier has been a member of the legislature since 2010, and in 2018 was part of wave of female Republican legislators who switched their party affiliation after the Kansas GOP dug in its heels and refused to clean up the disastrous budget mess left by former Governor Sam Brownback.

"Morally, the party is not going where my compass resides. I'm looking forward to being in a party that represents the ideals that I do, including Medicaid expansion and funding our K-12 schools," Bollier said at the time.

And now it looks like Kobach might get another chance to get spanked by a nice, Midwestern lady with sensible hair. Because clearly that's what he's into!

A poll released yesterday from DFM Research shows Kobach in a dead heat with Bollier, 43-43, with 10 percent undecided. Even though 69 percent of respondents had never heard of Bollier, she still managed to tie Kobach, who has almost universal name recognition. That's an impressive stat in a red state! For instance, in a race between a generic Democrat and a generic Republican, the Republican wins 39-31, with 30 percent undecided. Stick Kobach in there against a virtually unknown Democrat, and a good chunk of those undecideds hop off the fence to vote against him. Brass tacks, this guy is poison!

Which is probably why Kobach is the only candidate in the field who raises more money out of state than from local donors. Incidentally, Bollier has raised about four times as much as Kobach this cycle.

And speaking of poison, look who got a whole lot less popular in Kansas in the past four years:

That's quite a comedown from 2016 where Trump beat Clinton by more than 20 points. Apparently, he's growing on Kansans ... like a corn fungus.

Look, this is just one poll. No one thinks the Democratic presidential candidate is going to win Kansas. And neither Kobach nor Bollier have secured the nomination yet. BUT, if the Kansas GOP is dumb enough to nominate this fool, we get a lot closer to maybe taking back the Senate. And if Trump is losing ground in the Midwest and has to spend money and time there this fall, well, that's just icing on the cake.

[DFM Poll]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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