Uh oh, Grandpa President McGoodbrain ANGRY:


That's right, PRESIDENT ANGRYPANTS is going to SHUT DOWN TWITTER, even though it is his ONLY FRIEND, because he is being SILENCED, which is why you can STILL HEAR HIM WHINING. Donald Trump is BIG MAD DICTATOR and you will RESPECT HIS AUTHORITAH!

south park cartman GIF Giphy



Anyway, quick background on what's going on here: After a grieving widower named Timothy Klausutis wrote a letter to Twitter begging CEO Jack Dorsey to remove Donald Trump's now-incessant tweets accusing "Morning Joe" host Joe Scarborough (baselessly) of murdering one of his former congressional staffers, Lori Klausutis (who was married to Timothy Klausutis), Twitter ... told that guy to fuck off.

But the platform did announce that it was going to start appending some light factchecking to Trump's constant lying, and lo and behold, it happened Tuesday afternoon, to a tweet Trump sent that morning during his morning Poop 'N' Lie session on Twitter about mail-in ballots:

See that alert at the bottom, after Trump tweets a bunch of shit about mail-in balloting being "fraudulent," claims that appear to have been made up by the syphilis squirrels that live in the president's brain, ALLEGEDLY? It says "Get the facts about mail-in ballots," and if you click that, you will get the facts about mail-in ballots, which are that they are fine, many states do them, there's little to no evidence of fraud, and Donald Trump is full of shit.

(Of course, all the bullshit he's flinging about mail-in ballots sounds like the stuff he would try to do to them, if only Vladimir Putin would agree to help. Projection!)

Anyway, all this has made Trump SO ANGRY.

Trump reacted pretty quickly yesterday, with some whining:

They are STIFLING HIS FREE SPEECH — Both the things are doing that! The MAIL-IN BALLOTS and also TWITTER IS BEING MEAN! — and HE as PRESIDENT will NOT ALLOW IT!

Who wants another Cartman .gif? OK:

south park television GIF Giphy

So ... do we need to unpack Grandpa's tweets, or can we just agree he's the stupidest person in the United States, who has no fucking idea what the First Amendment is, and move on? Let's move on.

Gabe Sherman reported last night in Vanity Fair that Trump is really just absolutely losing his everloving shit right now, as the coronavirus pandemic he has ignored has manifested a six-figure body count, and his campaign is all but imploding. It's all worth reading, and we will probably do a separate post on it, but one interesting thing in there is that Trump's "New York friends," who apparently still exist, are none too pleased with Trump's weird obsession with tweeting long-debunked conspiracy theories about Joe Scarborough, which is of course what set all this off.

[T]he biggest obstacle standing in the way of a Trump-campaign reset is the candidate. "Trump is doing it to himself by tweeting idiotic conspiracy theories about Joe Scarborough. Women are tired of this shit," said another former West Wing official. An outside adviser agreed. "Trump can't pivot to a different strategy," the adviser told me. "He only knows one strategy—which is attack. It worked in 2016. But now it's not what people are looking for." The adviser told me that Trump's New York friends are planning an intervention to get him to stop tweeting about the Morning Joe cohost.

Ooh, an intervention! How might that go?

Donald, we've gathered here today to talk about your strange obsession with Joe Scarborough, and how it's hurting you and everyone who vaguely kinda sorta loves you ... if you count as "love" Don Jr. and Eric's empty-headed slobbering need for approval and Ivanka's desire to use your presidency to rule the world and Melania's ... well, Melania was probably trying to leave your ass before this "president" bullshit happened, and we imagine she will do it again, the second you're out of office ... point is, THIS IS A INTERVENTION. FROM YOUR "NEW YORK FRIENDS," WHO "LOVE" YOU!

Anyway, the intervention has clearly not happened yet, look at Grandpa spinnin' his wheels this morning:

Oh boy.

Also yesterday, Trump responded directly to the letter from widower Timothy Klausutis, who is begging Twitter to make Trump shut the goddamn fuck up about his dead wife, and this is what he said:

That delusional, heartless anal fistula is your president, America.

By the by, White House Press Idiot Kayleigh McEnany is also pushing this shit during the briefings now, saying Joe Scarborough needs to "answer these questions" about Donald Trump's unhinged conspiracy theories, about Joe Scarborough.

We might do another post on that video by itself too, because if you thought Kayleigh McEnany was a lying sack of shit before? Boy howdy!

For now, we'll end this post with a couple more brain thoughts from President Braingood, and they are ...

OBAMAGATE SMELL LIKE POTATOES!

And ...

TRUMP SO MAD THE ATLANTIC CALLED HIM "MOST UNMANLY PRESIDENT," TRUMP NOT "UNMANLY," TRUMP MAN! TRUMP BIGGEST MAN!

And SOOOOOOOOO ANGRY!

The end.

[Vanity Fair]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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