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Last year on January 17, a Lebanese-American lobbyist named George Nader, with close ties to the crown princes of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates ("MBS" and "MBZ," as everybody calls them), landed at Dulles airport in DC, on his way to a big sock hop hootenanny orgy at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate Donald Trump's first year of failure as the unelected president of the United States. Instead, he was met by the feds, who had warrants to search him and take his iPhones, and very soon after that, he was Robert Mueller's cooperating witness, a guy who seemed like he could be very dangerous to TrumpWorld, because of the sheer amount of creepy Trump campaign and transition fuckery he was present for.

Oh yeah, and not long after that, we found out that ALSO George Nader had a wee child porn problem, going back decades. Indeed, the last time Nader was arrested for child porn, it was 1991, and that also happened at Dulles. (He had the kiddie porn on "reels" hidden in "candy tins." How old-timey!) And in 2003, he was convicted in the Czech Republic on 10 counts of actually molesting little kids, and served a year in prison. Anyway, none of this is surprising, because it's a well known fact that Trumpers just hang around very legal and very cool people.

Well, fast forward to yesterday, and Nader, who had some sort of partial immunity while he was cooperating with the Mueller investigation, was arrested at Kennedy airport in New York for (surprise!) transporting child porn, stemming from an indictment filed in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA) under seal on April 19 of last year, not long after Nader's cooperation ended. Turns out they found it all on his iPhones when they seized them last year under Mueller's warrants, which were obviously unrelated to child porn. No word on if he had any "candy tins" with him this time, but we are guessing nah.


Anyway, we read the indictment for #journalism purposes, so we can officially report to you that if you had "guy who can accurately be described as the one who had videos of kids getting blowjobs from chickens on his iPhone" somewhere on your Trump Scandal Bingo Card, then you, inexplicably, win. As the New York Times reports, Nader could be going to jail anywhere from 15 to 40 years, if he's convicted.

Let's briefly remind ourselves of all the weird connections between Nader, the Trump campaign, Gulf princes and the Russians!

First of all, there was the very bizarre Trump Tower meeting in August of 2016, the one about which we've always suspected there's way more to the story than what we currently know, which was attended by Donald Trump Jr., Erik Prince, Stephen Miller for some reason, and of course Nader, who was present as an emissary of the Gulf princes. Oh yeah, and there was an Australian-Israeli intelligence guy named Joel Zamel, who was offering the Trump campaign a psy-ops social media plan to ratfuck the election for Trump, to be bankrolled by the Gulf princes. At that meeting, the New York Times reported that Erik Prince introduced Nader as an "old friend." (Just a nice "old friend" with videos on his iPhone of kids fucking goats. Totally normal.)

According to all their official statements, the Trump campaign didn't take Zamel up on that offer, but we still aren't sure we believe them, and it's definitely curious that George Nader paid Zamel two million American dollars soon after the election for some unexplained reason.

In December 2016, during the transition, there was another meeting in Trump Tower, this time attended by Nader, Jared Kushner, Steve Bannon, Michael Flynn and the goddamned crown prince of Abu Dhabi, who had snucked into America without telling the Obama administration, setting off alarm bells in Washington.

And then soon after, Nader organized that big funtimes fancy meeting in the Seychelles in January 2017, a week and a half before the inauguration, where Erik Prince met Kirill Dmitriev, a Russian close to Putin who ran Russia's sovereign wealth fund. (You know, the meeting Erik Prince lied to Congress about.)

The Mueller Report was really illuminating in filling in the gaps of our knowledge about that meeting. We learned that Nader referred to Dmitriev as "Putin's interlocutor" in the Gulf states, you know, in case you were wondering how close to Putin the dude who ran Russia's sovereign wealth fund really is. We learned that somebody (Nader?) texted Dmitriev the day after the election to say, "Putin has won." And we learned that from that moment forward, Dmitriev was just helicoptering his dick around trying to get in bed with as many Trumpers as he could. (Not in the sex type way, in the Trump/Russia conspiracy type way.) After much back-and-forth, it was decided that Prince would meet with Dmitriev in the Seychelles as an unofficial emissary of the Trump campaign, which seemed to disappoint Dmitriev mightily. (Wouldn't you feel the same way?) And once in the Seychelles, it seems that Dmitriev really didn't like Erik Prince, especially after Prince said REDACTED, which Dmitriev found very insulting.

When Prince testified to Congress, he gave the impression (lied) that his only meeting with Dmitriev in the Seychelles was after dinner, by chance, across a crowded room, for one beer, because he really likes beer. In fact, they also met that afternoon for 30 or 45 minutes, and guess whose villa they met at? Yup.

When we read the Mueller Report, we noted that the Seychelles meeting section had a LOT of so-called "grand jury" redactions. Don't you think Adam Schiff and the rest of his committee, at the very least, should get to read what else Mueller learned about that meeting?

Holy shit, we almost forgot to mention all the Qatar stuff! We should mention the Qatar stuff! OK, so remember how not long after he became president, Donald Trump all of a sudden began taking gargantuan Big Mac shits all over our ally Qatar, which hosts CENTCOM and one of America's very large military bases? Trump decided "out of nowhere" that Qatar was a huge state sponsor of terrorism, which was exactly what Saudi Arabia and the UAE was hoping he say! Amazing coincidence, no?

OK, so at Trump's inauguration, Nader met this big Trump fundraiser named Elliott Broidy, who happens to be close pals with Steven Mnuchin. Broidy went on to be an RNC finance co-chair, and then went on to be a former RNC finance co-chair, because of how he had to resign after a scandal involving his own $1.6 million porn payoff to a lady, which strangely went through some of the same lawyers Trump's porn payoffs went through. HUH WEIRD.

Broidy had a private military company, Circinus, and he was hoping to line up big business with Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Luckily, Nader was in deep with those guys! And those guys (by which we mean those two princes) really really REALLY wanted the United States to turn on Qatar, because Qatar just, in general, cramps their style. AP reported last year that Nader and Broidy did some extra sneaky scheming to use Broidy's influence to help turn Trump and a handful of other elected Republicans against Qatar, for fun and profit, but mostly profit. And did it work?

Well, Trump never did learn to pronounce "Qatar" correctly, if that's what you mean. But yeah, the other stuff seemed to work.

Trump: Qatar must stop funding terrorism www.youtube.com

Isn't it nice getting reacquainted with George Nader, Donald Trump's buddy who has been arrested yet again for transporting kiddie porn, this time of the human-animal hybrid variety?

But we do have a few questions. Namely, for the purposes of the Mueller investigation, Nader had immunity, or at least a proffer agreement, wherein as long as he didn't lie, he'd be fine. Either the child porn the feds found in Nader's iPhones wasn't part of that -- and we'd understand why it wasn't! -- or something has changed. But what??? Anyway, LOCK HIM UP.

In conclusion, here's a picture of George Nader with Donald Trump.

THE END.

[New York Times / Nader indictment]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

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