IG Will Investigate Rudy And The FBI's New York Field Office As Soon As We're All Dead

Many fascinating shitshows happened in Wednesday's hearing with Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz in the Senate Judiciary Committee. Republicans lied and pretended the central focus of Horowitz's report was that there were some unexplained fuckups with the FISA applications for Carter Page, when the actual main point -- you could tell because Horowitz listed it first every time he was asked -- was that the Trump-Russia investigation was correctly predicated, without political bias. All the rest is "room for growth" at the FBI.

But another thing came up in the hearing. We all know Rudy Giuliani is currently committing election inteference crimes on behalf of his client Donald Trump in Ukraine, that Giuliani is under criminal investigation by the Southern District of New York for Ukraine stuff and God knows what else, and that his best Chucklefuck pals Lev and Igor are currently under indictment related to those schemes.

But do you remember Rudy's first weirdass scheme for Trump, the one that happened in the month leading up to the 2016 election?

Do you remember how Rudy was going on Fox News saying he had just been hearing from folks in the FBI that Hillary Clinton was about to be indicted for Clinton Foundation or #PizzaEmails or whatever it was? There seemed to be a rogue, radicalized contingent of Hillary-hatin' FBI agents in the New York field office who were leaking all kinds of bullshit about the Clinton Foundation, based on garbage from that garbage book Clinton Ca$h, because they were GRRR and MAD about Hillary Clinton, and all this crap would end up on Fox News, often spewed by none other than Giuliani.

Indeed, it looked like part of the reason James Comey went public with the discovery of the "new" Hillary emails on Anthony Weiner's porn laptop was because he was worried the New York field office would go (more) rogue and leak it. We know according to Comey himself -- as reported in IG Michael Horowitz's report on the Clinton emails investigation -- that he had this possibility in his mind when he decided to ratfuck Hillary's campaign 11 days before the election. Former FBI lawyer/Trump enemy Lisa Page stated in that IG report that there was a "substantial and legitimate fear that when we went to seek the warrant in order to get access to the Weiner laptop, that the fact of that would leak." Attorney General Loretta Lynch was worried about it. Everybody was worried about it.

Golly, we sure have gotten a lot of IG reports since then. But nothing about this, which we've been told time and time again that Horowitz is super-busy getting to the bottom of. But don't worry, he's still investigating it!

Senator Pat Leahy asked Horowitz about how he found not only Peter Strzok and Lisa Page sexting about how Trump sucks, but also found pro-Trump FBI sexting, and even more than that, there were FBI agents in the New York field office who were leaking all this bullshit to Rudy Giuliani and HOW'S THAT INVESTIGATION GOING, MR. HOROWITZ?

(Start around 14 minutes in.)

IG report hearing part 6: Chuck Grassley, Patrick Leahy question Michael Horowitzwww.youtube.com

Horowitz said he was "very concerned about that" and that the investigation "continues to this day," but what's "proving to be very hard" is figuring out the "substance" of all the contacts he knows about between those agents and Rudy and/or Rudy's people. It's just really haaaaaaaaaaaard, like a common FBI investigation.

The issue came up several more times during the hearing, and each time Horowitz said oh yeah, they've got the contacts dead to rights! But they just can't figure out what those people were saying what were they saaaaaaaaaaying?


We are sure we'll find out about the actual politicized contingent of the FBI that was doing actual election interference in October and November of 2016 just as soon as Michael Horowitz gets around to finishing (starting?) that investigation. Maybe after he binge-watches just one more season of "Schitt's Creek" and fixes that leaky faucet and rearranges the American Girl dolls in his garage. Or whatever.

The IG report on Hillary's emails came out in summer of 2018. We learned at that time that this issue was definitely you betcha still under investigation, and we'd be hearing about it ... sometime.

And since then, tumbleweeds.

It's a full year and a half later, we have this brand spankin' new IG report, and ... nothing.

Remember when Rudy Giuliani said this on Fox News in 2016?

"The other rumor that I get is that there's a kind of revolution going on inside the FBI about the original conclusion [not to charge Clinton] being completely unjustified and almost a slap in the face to the FBI's integrity," said Giuliani. "I know that from former agents. I know that even from a few active agents."

Former agents! Active agents!

Rudy swore to Jesus he didn't have any part in the leaks or the dissemination thereof, but did he hear about it? DARN RIGHT HE HEARD ABOUT IT!

Did I hear about it? You're darn right I heard about it, and I can't even repeat the language that I heard from the former FBI agents.

They probably were saying cusses like "Great horn spoon!" and "G. Rover Cripes!"

We appreciate that Horowitz exists to debunk Trump's dumbshit conspiracy theories about DEEEEP STAAAAAAATE and WITCH HUNT and whatever else. It's just super.

It would be awesome if he'd do the rest of his job. You know, if it fits into his busy schedule.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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