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Illiterate Southern 'Vampire' Offers Racial Advice

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'Dear shit-fer-brains ...'Last week your Wonkette posted some news about racism in Tennessee, because it was so shocking and rare and etc. Racism, in the South?! Many days later, this post drained all the way to the Internet's southern parts, where a proud local man discovered the item in question, maybe on his ex-wife's cousin's 'puter. He is probably upset, although it's almost impossible to tell.


From: kd___@gmail.com

To: tips@wonkette.com

Date: Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5: :21 PM

Subject: lauri apple

not sure where ur deep knowledge of tennessee racial relations come from but i hope its a funny coincidence. if its not then don't be shy sweetpea. step up and talk to a reel live vampire.

if it ain't a coincidence. tell ur tipster to "go fuck themselves."! Yep, i think that is correct.

somebody is playing with you deer wonkettes. or your playing with me. either way. speak and speak now.

What language is this? Sure, it shares many words with American English. But what does it mean? Did they just get the Twilight movies on cable?

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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