Merry holidays to all of you, Wonkers, let us begin.

Over on CNN's "State of The Union," Jake Tapper began the morning with punchable ophthalmologist and Kentucky's second-most-loathsome senator, Rand Paul. Paul, via satellite from the site of the Bowling Green Massacre, decided to prove a former speechwriter for President Obama correct in his assessment of what this entire impeachment process would be like.

Rand Paul has decided his offensively stupid argument will be that Trump was "combating corruption" when he decided to extort Ukraine for an investigation that would hurt Joe Biden (and the Democratic Party). Tapper, for his part, pointed out the absurdity of this argument by taking Paul down Memory Lane.

TAPPER: But this is a president whose former personal attorney Michael Cohen, former campaign chairman Paul Manafort, former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn, former campaign adviser Roger Stone, former deputy campaign chair Rick Gates, former associate George Papadopoulos, all of them have been convicted of federal crimes. In addition, last year, Trump University settled a $25 million fraud lawsuit. Last month, President Trump admitted misusing his own charitable foundation's money, was ordered to pay $2 million. You really think President Trump is concerned about rooting out corruption?

I love that song! But did these facts deter Paul from making more idiotic arguments? Nope! He tried to trudge on with it to the point Tapper had to do everything in his power not to laugh in his face while pointing out his logic fallacies.


TAPPER: So, just to be clear, this precedent that you are prepared to set, you would be OK with a president, say, Elizabeth Warren, asking a foreign government to investigate her top Republican rival, as long as there's some -- was some sort of allegation about that Republican rival having some sort of connection to allegations of corruption?

PAUL: Right.

TAPPER
: That's going to be OK with you?

PAUL
: I think you all misreport this. But I think you all misreport this.

TAPPER
: That's just a fact.

PAUL
: What you guys say every time is -- well, it's not. I mean, what you said is completely untrue.

TAPPER
: Wait. No, no, no, no, no.

PAUL
: The president didn't call up the president of Ukraine and say -- no, let -- let -- let me finish. He didn't call up the president of Ukraine and say, investigate my rival.

TAPPER
: He said, investigate Joe Biden.

PAUL
: He said, investigate a certain person and a certain -- let -- let -- let me finish. Here's -- here's the thing, is, you guys are not being honest with the facts here. He does not call up and say, investigate my rival. He says, investigate a person. So let's say I'm the Republican sheriff in my county here in Kentucky.

TAPPER
: And Joe Biden is his rival.

Here is the full interview:

youtu.be

Over on ABC's "This Week," The League of Idiotic Senators sent their leader, Texas Senator Ted Cruz. For his approach, Cruz attempted the same argument while filibustering George Stephanopoulos like a Gatling gun of bullshit. In between barrages, Stephanopoulos did point out that Biden and Burisma were investigated by Ukraine already without any evidence of wrongdoing from either of the Bidens. He also pointed out Attorney General Bill Barr's disinterest and theRepublican House AND Senate inaction towards what ONLY NOW is seen as a grave matter despite being aware of Hunter Biden's work years ago.

Stephanopoulos then read the oath every senator would have to take for the impeachment trial:

I solemnly swear or affirm, as the case may be, that in all things appertaining to the trial of the impeachment now pending, I will do impartial justice, according to the Constitution and the laws, so help me God.

Then Stephanopoulos asked Cruz to square statements from Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham that seem to be a total contradiction of that oath. That's when Cruz's partisan hackery went to another level. He howled that Trump didn't actually break the law.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Well, but it doesn't require a crime. It doesn't require a crime, as you know.

With that, Cruz makes the next stupid argument that Democrats haven't provided enough proof or witnesses. Yes! If you just ignore all the testimony and witnesses the Democrats presented while crying that Dems did not "meet the burden of proof" that Trump is purposely obstructing, that is. Here is the interview.

youtu.be


Over On "Fox News Sunday," former Florida attorney general Pam Bondi, who accepted campaign donations from Donald Trump's charity and decided it was cool he fucked Floridians over with a fake university scam, has some thoughts on legal fairness and admitted further abuse of power from Trump.

But the stupidest moment of the Sunday shows came from Chuck Todd and NBC's "Meet The Press." Todd did an entire segment framed on what voters think of impeachment. While a pointless exercise, it would have been fine, except ... the panel had ONLY Republicans. The lack of diversity was apparent to anyone with journalistic integrity.

In other words:

Have a Happy Holidays!

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Michael Mora

Pop Culture observer & Comics fan. Amateur Movie Reviewer. Political Freelance Writer @wonkette. Marine, Husband & Dad. Opinions are mine only.

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