Did you know that Demon Sheep Tom Campbell once impersonated Elvis at a party, just like Rod Blagojevich? And did you know that the person who made Carly Fiorina's famous ad was one Fred Davis, who also made the terrible "Celebrity" ad (Barack Obama=Paris Hilton, plus phallic symbols) a couple years back? Who wouldn't want to employ this genius admaker, after all he did for President McCain! Anyway, the point is, Tom Campbell is not just a weird laser-eyed pervert who wants to fuck your wooly ungulates. He is actually Rod Blagojevich, which is even worse. (Terrifying illustration courtesy of Lauri Apple.) [TIME,Tom Campbell for US Senate]