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Important Website Now Lets You Turn Dead Mormons Into Gay Dead Mormons

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It was very exciting to learn that the young Mitt Romney maybe baptized the sad ghosts of Jewish victims of the Nazi Holocaust, to turn them into followers of Mitt's folk religion. Who knew Mitt ever did anything but the kind of vicious 1% capitalism that ruins the lives of countless Americans?


Well now, thanks to the Internet (again!), there is a new "web app" that lets you easily turn all Dead Mormons into homosexuals. Dead Mormon homosexuals, we assume, unless there's some fine print/privacy policy thing on the bottom of the web page that explains in dense legal terminology how the Dead Mormon Homosexuals will then Rise Up From Their Graves and commit deep crimes against the Living ... oh god, that's how Romney's going to become president, isn't it? OH GOD. [Gay Mormon Zapper Website]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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