In Ann Coulter's New Religious Order, Ladies Will Marry Federal Government For Free Slutbortions


So you know how when nuns take they're vows, they're married to Jebus? Ann Coulter has figured out that it's pretty much the same thing when single women want insurance to cover their Whore Pills, except they're marrying the federal government. On a special Fox & Friends tribute to the Mad Hatter's tea party Sunday, Coulter also explained that when Nancy Pelosi said Republicans disrespect women, she was totally wrong because she said it on MSNBC, where all the hosts are committed to force-feeding dookie to Sarah Palin. They then showed a clip of Pelosi saying that Republican policies disrespect women, since R's have opposed equal pay for equal work, raising the mininmum wage, child care, paid sick leave, and so on.

Ah, but Tucker Carlson was too smart for Nancy Pelosi! He translated what all that ooga-booga about "pay equity" and "women in the work place" really means:

"So why doesn’t she just say abortion? That’s what she’s talking about. Why doesn’t anybody ever use that word out loud if it’s such a great thing?”

Equal pay = Abortion. Logic is fun! (By which we mean "abortion," really.)

Coulter then went on to explain that all these abortion euphemisms remind her of all the new euphemisms that liberals are using for "liberal," like "progressive" and "communist." After all, did you know that half the babies being aborted are women?

We at Wonkette would just like to know how Coulter keeps coming up with these fresh, innovative witticisms of hers!

And by "witticisms," we mean "abortions," of course.

In any case, Coulter explained, the very notion that Republicans have a problem with women is completely wrong:

“By the way, Republicans don’t have a problem with women,” Coulter opined. “They have a problem with unmarried women who think, ‘No, we don’t need national defense, we need our birth control paid for.’”

“And why? Because single women look at the government as their husbands,” she added. “Please provide for me, please take care of me.”

So why doesn’t she just say whores? That’s what she’s talking about. Why doesn’t anybody ever use that word out loud if it’s who they really don't want voting Republican?


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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