'M-m-m-make Americ-c-c-c-ca G-g-g-g-g... (gasp)'

Donald Trump held another of his huge superspreader picnics at Eppley Airfield outside Omaha, Nebraska, last night. Thousands showed up to wave Trump signs and shout droplets on each other. After the predictable lies about how Joe Biden will make decent white folks live next to Cory Booker and COVID-19 will just go away because it's afraid of Trump's manliness, the Great Man hopped back on Air Force One and flew back to DC.

And then the murders began.

Or at least the freezings began. Thanks to a logistical clusterfuck, thousands of people were stuck standing outside in freezing weather, waiting for buses to pick them up. But most buses couldn't reach the airport rally site because of snarled traffic. That left most of the rally attendees stuck in the cold, miles from the parking lots where they'd left their cars. Omaha Scanner, a local news Twitter feed, reported that at least seven people were taken to hospitals for hypothermia. It was, by all accounts, a confusing, frozen mess:

He was at least supposed to keep the buses running on time.

As the night went on, the reports from Omaha Scanner became less polite, noting at one point that the city's police department was "taking charge of this shit show" and that city buses were being pressed into service:

Another tweet said an officer was "advising 8 to 9 elderly people who are struggling," while another officer had "located an elderly party who is frozen cold unable to move with an altered mental status." That appears to have been, according to a later tweet, a 68-year-old man who was being transported to a hospital after an initial complaint of "possible hypothermia and altered mental status." The good news was that by the time of the second tweet, the man was "alert and oriented and shivering." Unfortunately, those aiding him were "Unable to obtain a temp. due to a broken thermometer." All snark aside, we hope everyone is okay.

The Iowa Starting Line blog points out that the entire event appears to have been "poorly planned from the beginning."

Trump's campaign told his rally-goers to arrive at Eppley at 4:30 p.m. By then, cars were lined up for miles trying to get into the airport, and the security team was directing people in circles.

At one point, security said the South Economy parking lot where the cars were being directed to was full, and pointed people toward the north lot. Security at the north lot then directed the cars of people, who had already waited in line once, back to the South Economy lot.

The security team then told people who started parking in a cell phone lot across the street from the South Economy lot that they may be towed.

That's just a partial description of the blog's account of the fuck-tussle people went through to get to the rally; it's corroborated in part by Omaha Scanner, which noted that people were still trying to get in even after the rally ended. Guess that's terrible news for Joe Biden, whose events never seem to resemble a frantic attempt to load cattle onto a train for the slaughterhouse.

Haha, we are kidding: Joe Biden's rallies are almost certainly meticulously organized, no doubt incorporating detailed logistical plans first put forward by Elizabeth Warren during the primary.

But don't expect any of the frost-nipped attendees to think any less of the Great Man simply because a rally a week before Election Day summed up how he's run the country. They've all got Stockholm syndrome. Comedian Blaire Erskine satirically channels what many Trump voters no doubt felt.

Also a very sad development: While a number of Republicans from next-door Iowa were at the viral event, Sen. Joni Ernst, who's in a close race against Democratic challenger Theresa Greenfield, didn't even get to speak at the rally. The Great Man mentioned her from the stage, but that's all, even though several other pols from neighboring states were invited to speak before Trump. How very sad for her.

No word on how exactly Ernst left the event afterward, or whether she was stuck standing in the cold. It seems unlikely, but we bet she could have kept her feet warm by putting bread bags over her shoes.

[USA Today / Iowa Starting Line / Omaha Scanner on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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