We've burned the effigies, we've checked into moving to Canada but now we're going to embrace the second Bush inaugural in the way we get through most tragedies: large quantities of bargain alcohol. That the festivities start at 10 A.M. only confirms that the event is a real tragedy requiring a deep early morning bracer. The following drinking game will keep you distracted from your Constitutional freedoms being shredded.

• Mention of father: one drink

• Tears at mention of father: one suckle from bottle nipple

• Talk of taking bold action: finish bottle

• Mention of angels, heaven, hosts or rapture: drink holy water

• Freedom in Iraq mentioned as key to peace: blow up something

More after the jump.

• Quote from historical figure: gurgle from flagon of mead

• Dick Cheney caught sneaking pork pie during ceremony: glass of claret

• Talk of ideology of hatred: throw longneck at television.

• Speculation about Rhenquist health: drink hot toddy

• Talk of reforming Social Security: steal from self

• Themes of reconciliation, bipartisanship and aisle crossing: mix bourbon, gin and vodka, chug.

• Device in back of Bush's jacket visible: shotgun beer

Parade coverage bonus round!

• Brian Williams talks about Presidential Limo: Cuddle copy of Brokaw's Greatest Generation

• Brian Williams keeps talking about Presidential Limo: Brain self with copy of Brokaw's Greatest Generation

• Someone interviews a child: regress

• Chris Matthews mentions that he was in the peace corps: buy one-way ticket out of the country

• Speculation about whether Bush is wearing bulletproof coat: put coat hanger under your jacket

• Protestors being restrained: Hide. You're next.