Inaugural Speech and Parade Drinking Game

We've burned the effigies, we've checked into moving to Canada but now we're going to embrace the second Bush inaugural in the way we get through most tragedies: large quantities of bargain alcohol. That the festivities start at 10 A.M. only confirms that the event is a real tragedy requiring a deep early morning bracer. The following drinking game will keep you distracted from your Constitutional freedoms being shredded.

Mention of father: one drink

Tears at mention of father: one suckle from bottle nipple

Talk of taking bold action: finish bottle

Mention of angels, heaven, hosts or rapture: drink holy water

Freedom in Iraq mentioned as key to peace: blow up something

More after the jump.

Quote from historical figure: gurgle from flagon of mead

Dick Cheney caught sneaking pork pie during ceremony: glass of claret

Talk of ideology of hatred: throw longneck at television.

Speculation about Rhenquist health: drink hot toddy

Talk of reforming Social Security: steal from self

Themes of reconciliation, bipartisanship and aisle crossing: mix bourbon, gin and vodka, chug.

Device in back of Bush's jacket visible: shotgun beer

Parade coverage bonus round!

Brian Williams talks about Presidential Limo: Cuddle copy of Brokaw's Greatest Generation

Brian Williams keeps talking about Presidential Limo: Brain self with copy of Brokaw's Greatest Generation

Someone interviews a child: regress

Chris Matthews mentions that he was in the peace corps: buy one-way ticket out of the country

Speculation about whether Bush is wearing bulletproof coat: put coat hanger under your jacket

Protestors being restrained: Hide. You're next.


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