Indiana Governor: What About A Law So We Still Get To Hate The Gays?


Remember earlier this year, when the entire known universe (except, like, Iran and Alabama) did a Two Minutes Hate against Indiana and its very stupid governor, for signing a Religious Freedom Restoration Act ("RFRA" if you're nasty) that basically said, "Hey gays, fuck you, and here are the ways we get to discriminate against you for Jesus"? Let's refresh ourselves. After Gov. Mike Pence signed the bill, the business community in Indiana lost its collective shit-marbles, because no matter how much the religious right hates the gays, discrimination is bad for business. And then, having been completely smacked down by big business, Indiana Republicans, with their tails between their legs, resting astride their wee balls, pushed through a watered-down version that specified nope, you cannot use your Jesus Feelings to discriminate against gays in "accommodations, goods, employment or housing." Story over, right? WRONG. Because it's back! Sort of.

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Check this out:

Gov. Mike Pence has been holding private meetings with leaders in the business community – apparently looking for solutions to the statewide debate over LGBT protections before next year's legislative session. [...]

A source close to those meetings said the governor has reportedly been discussing what's known as the "Utah Compromise" – a Utah law that prohibits discrimination in housing and employment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, but doesn't create a special class for other purposes.

Yeah, The Utah Compromise sucks, because those "other purposes" are really, really fucking broad. The Courier-Journal explains that what's NOT protected are "public accommodations," a category that includes things that have gone down in other states like:

  • The pizza bigots in Indiana who say it hurts them in the Jesus part of their hearts when they have to cater gay weddings, even though no gays ever have pizza at their weddings. (Except this one time, and the pizza bigots accidentally catered it, LOL.)
  • The lady and husband-lady in Oregon, Aaron and Melissa Klein, who own "Sweet Cakes By Melissa," which may or may not be what her husband calls her Traditional Christian Boobies during grown-up time. They just couldn't BEAR to frost a cake for lesbians, and now they are being persecuted by having fundamentalist assholes, INCLUDING THE PIZZA BIGOTS, throw cash at them.
  • That florist lady in Washington State. Same whiny-ass story, but with flowers.
  • This one lady in New Mexico who sells her services in the public square as a wedding photographer, but becomes a sad victim of oppression when a gay asks her to take pictures.

And more! So many wingnut Christians in America want to be fake dumb martyrs right now.

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The good news? Indiana's business community is already preemptively telling Pence and the Republicans in the legislature, who want to do this SO BAD, to fuck right off:

[A]s Indiana Republican leaders examine whether such a policy could be introduced here, business leaders are roundly rejecting the concept. [...]

“After RFRA,” said former Angie’s List chief Bill Oesterle, “that’s a horrible half-solution.”

Legislation modeled after the Utah law, he said, would be “completely unpalatable to me.” And lawmakers, he added, would be naive to think those weaker laws would be enough to repair the state’s battered reputation.

You'll remember that Angie's List was one of the first Indiana corporations to tell Pence to kiss its ass after the RFRA bill was signed. Want to hear what other companies have to say? How about Eli Lilly?

“We stand for equal protections for all Hoosiers, including Hoosiers in the LGBT community,” said Edward Sagebiel, Lilly’s senior director for global corporate communications, reputation and branding.

The NCAA's senior vice president of communications, Bob Williams, adds:

Our commitment to fair treatment of all employees, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, has not changed and is at the core of what we believe in. We intend to stand strong with our colleagues in the business community as the fight for equal protections under the law is fought for everyone in the state of Indiana.

It must be hard to be a Hoosier bigot these days, when literally everyone still hates you. We'll have to monitor the progress of this, because the idiot Gov. Pence and the dumbass Republicans in the legislature might not have learned a damn thing from the smackdown they were served earlier this year. If so, get out the popcorn, because it's time to hate on Indiana again, YAY.

[RTV6-ABC / Courier-Journal viaJoeMyGod]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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