Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State
Indiana's reputation is really piss-poor these days! After becoming the target of nationwide outrage over their passage of a bullshit "religious freedom" bill that, in its original form, basically gave any person or company with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs the right to kick gays out the door, they got to experience what it's like to be pariahs. Sorry, Indiana GOP Christian Right weirdos -- you have lost the culture war THAT MUCH, that your little futile exercise in giving yourselves special God Hates Fags rights put the state of Indiana very much at risk of losing people, investment, the state's good name, etc. So now you have to REBRAND!
Now, usually when people think of the GOP "rebranding," it's because they're trying to make themselves not look quite so appalling to ladies (hasn't worked) and racial minorities (ha ha ha ha), but it's very rare for an entire state to have to be rebranded!
Please rescue Indiana, world-renowned PR firm Porter Novelli:
The state of Indiana has hired a global public relations firm to help rebuild its image in the wake of national criticism that state politicians were hostile to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
The Indiana Economic Development Corporation, which leads the state's efforts to attract and retain businesses, has retained Porter Novelli for an undisclosed sum. The firm's task is to brand Indiana "as a welcoming place to live, visit and do business."
Implied but not stated explicitly is "even if u r a homo." How much monetary damage did conservative Christian wingnuts, in state government and outside of it, do to Indiana's reputation? Moneys of an UNDISCLOSED SUM. That sounds expensive!
Wingnuts do not understand what it is that they did that was so wrong here. They were simply trying to protect people from the Homosexual Menace, how is that so bad? And of course, after big business stepped in and told the state to go fuck itself, Indiana Governor Mike Pence, who didn't even understand the dumb thing he originally signed, ended up sucking up and signing a boring bill that clarifies that businesses are NOT allowed to beat up on the gays and the lesbians. So what is the problem? Oh, we know! It's that they did it in the first place, and now regular Americans hear the word "Indiana" and are even less interested in going there than they were before, which we didn't think was scientifically possible.
We are sure there will be a whole lot of "what about us, what about making the state attractive for anti-gay fucksqueaks who just want Indiana to be a fag-free theocracy?" questions bandied around in response, but the answer, quite simply, is that big business has learned that pandering to THAT demographic just doesn't bring in the big bucks anymore. Sorry, dildos, you lose!