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Infamous Butter Cow Becomes Butter Obama, Finally

not as pretty hereYou may remember from a couple months ago the BUTTER COW, that False Idol of Iowa. Butter Cow, a creation of Iowa farmer Duffy Lyon, possesses mystical kingmaking powers and rains fury on ungrateful, weak farmers. Butter Cow endorsed Barack Obama this fall and now has deified him: enter Butter Obama, Lyon's latest butter sculpture. Butter Cow and Butter Obama have forged a hellish combination of rural idolatory, so we might as well just cancel the caucuses now. [The Caucus]

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On Monday, Gloria Vanderbilt -- socialite, jeans lady, and mom of Anderson Cooper -- passed away at the age of 95. In more normal times, this would merely result in a few obituaries and tributes about her life, and the requisite few RIP tweets.

Unfortunately, we do not live in normal times. These days, no celebrity can die without it becoming the purview of the crazypants QAnon cult, followers of which believe that no one ever dies under normal circumstances, especially not 95-year-old ladies.

Vanderbilt and her family were already something of an obsession with these people due to several "Q proofs" accusing her of doing magic spells, wearing magic illuminati owl necklaces, and [checks notes] doing something involving "red shoes," which the QAnon people think people only wear if they love sacrificing children to Satan.

Yes, this is a thing. No, I do not know if they are also mad at Elvis Costello.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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