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Insane Anti-Abortion Activist Randall Terry To Face Obama In Primaries

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Our friend Randall Terry calls himself a Tea Party activist, and likes to go around protesting abortion with superb comic acting and the throwing of dead fetuses at tourist children, but he also apparently is going to face Obama in the 2012 Democratic primaries. This should be good.

Let's take a random sample of times this man has made it into our blog:

This past July, he hanged and beat Lindsey Graham in effigy. We made a Blingee.

For Halloween 2009, he made a video about how you are going to burn in hell in a deluxe fire condo with your roommates Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

"Wonkette Went To Virginia For A Town Hall, And Randall Terry Went Nuts, The End"

His son outed himself as gay, haha.

And here is an ancient audio lithograph of him saying his favorite swear, "son of a pup."

But apparently this man is a Democrat now, for the fuck of it. We guess this unfunny music video about the Republican Party is supposed to explain his exit from the party. There is a giant sword in the background propped up next to a gumball machine. That's pretty much all you need to know.

While pro-life Democrats have prevailed at the state level, they have failed badly in their pursuit of their party’s presidential nomination in recent years.

Haha, this reporter is an idiot. Stop pretending this man is serious. How about pets? How often have gerbils won a presidential nomination? Some intern needs to do some research on this. [Sunshine State News via Ben Smith]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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