Inconsolable Trump Campaign Can't Stop WHIIIIIIINING That Thursday's Debate Is UNFAAAAAAAAAIR!

Well, the Trump campaign is whining, so what else is new.

Theoretically there is going to be a presidential debate on Thursday night. Supposedly. Last night, the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) announced it would be making some changes to the format, to at least allow both candidates to speak sometimes, after the debacle of the first debate. No, the moderator, NBC News's Kristin Welker, will not be able to cut their mics at ANY time, but during the initial two minutes when she asks a question and a candidate gives their initial answer, the other candidate's mic will be muted.

This, of course, is UNFAIR!11!1! How can Donald Trump debate if he can't scream HUNTER BIDEN! BURISMAAAAAA! and filibuster and just generally misbehave and break the rules?

But the Trump campaign, they will survive:

In a statement, the Trump campaign said it was "committed to debating" Biden "regardless of last minute rule changes from the biased commission in their latest attempt to provide advantage to their favored candidate."

That's right, allowing candidates actual equal time to answer questions is a "last minute rule change from the biased commission" for "their favored candidate." And if Donald Trump can't cheat, then it's RIGGED!

They're not mad, really:

"This was supposed to be the foreign policy debate, so the President still looks forward to forcing Biden to answer the number one relevant question of whether he's been compromised by the Communist Party of China," the campaign continued.


The Trump campaign has been swearing that this was supposed to be the "foreign policy debate" for about 24 hours now. Campaign manager Bill Stepien tweeted a meandering whiny-ass letter to the CPD on Monday, outlining all their current grievances, before the decision on muting the mics was released. The whining starts at the top of the tweet:

Pathetic. Anyway, let's read it!

We write with great concern over the announced topics for what was always billed as the "Foreign Policy Debate" in the series of events agreed to by both the Trump campaign and Biden campaign many months ago.

It was never actually billed as the "Foreign Policy Debate." The Trump campaign made that shit up.

But they NEED it to be foreign policy, because Donald Trump is good at that (LOL) and he needs to say BURISMAAAAAAAAAAAA! You know, because his campaign is currently participating — one might call it colluding — in a Russian disinformation op about Hunter Biden.

We urge you to recalibrate the topics and return to subjects which had already been confirmed.

Kristin Welker announced the debate topics a few weeks ago. Those were the ones that had been confirmed.

The Trump campaign whines in the letter that Joe Biden probably doesn't want to do a foreign policy debate, because of how Donald Trump has achomlishmented so many things from a foreign policy perspective. Because of how that is a thing these delusional fuckwits actually believe, that Trump has actually made things happen.

We understand that Joe Biden is desperate to avoid conversations about his own foreign policy record, especially since President Trump has secured historic peace agreements among Israel, the United Arab Emirates, and Bahrain.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that was one "peace agreement" and Donald Trump didn't do dick to make it happen.

The rest of the letter is whining about all the ways the CPD has supposedly had its finger on the scale for Joe Biden, and you don't want to read it.

It's not surprising that the Trump campaign is already trying to come up with excuses as to why Trump lost yet another debate before it even happens. After all, he fucked himself in the first one, noped out of what was supposed to be the second one, and then set his dick on fire and ate it in the hastily planned town hall NBC News gave him as a consolation prize.

And all of this is on brand for a candidate for whom nothing is ever his fault, and who is at the moment set up to suffer a historic loss in exactly two weeks. The New York Times's Maggie Haberman reported this weekend that inside the campaign, the backbiting and blame-casting is fierce, people are already brushing up their resumes, and as for the candidate, they're treating him like a hospice patient:

Among some of Mr. Trump's lieutenants, there is an attitude of grit mixed with resignation: a sense that the best they can do for the final stretch is to keep the president occupied, happy and off Twitter as much as possible, rather than producing a major shift in strategy.

Just keep him comfortable and drugged up! Allegedly!

Again, the second and final presidential debate is scheduled to happen on Thursday night. Or maybe it won't. Joe Biden certainly doesn't need another debate, and if it is indeed so unfair to Trump, maybe he should just protest and stay home.

I really don't care, do u?

[NPR / Trump campaign / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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