Internet Morons Can't Wait To See President Obama Get Impeached, Thrown Right Out Of Office He Does Not Hold

On Sunday, President Dipshit did a lot of tweeting all about how he was "hereby demanding" that the Department of Justice investigate whether or not Obama was using the FBI to spy on him during the 2016 campaign.

Inspired, Trump idiots across the internet began demanding President Obama's immediate removal from office with the hashtag #ImpeachObama.

Who is going to tell them? And how, exactly, do they imagine this would work?

I am thinking that it would be something like my second all time favorite historical incident, the Cadaver Synod (pictured above) -- in which Pope Stephen VI put his predecessor Formosus on trial for having been illegally declared Pope in the first place. However, it was a tad awkward, because Formosus was actually dead, and in order to put him on trial, they had to dig up his body and have a Deacon stand behind him doing his voice and pleading guilty to all the crimes.

Naturally, the ventriloquism act thoroughly convinced the cardinals on the jury, and he was un-Poped. So they threw him in the Tiber -- but then his dead body started doing miracles and so they sent Pope Stephen VI to jail, where he was later strangled to death. This led to the next pope re-Poping Formosus, and then the pope after that declaring it illegal to put a dead body on trial, and excommunicating all the Cardinals who found him guilty, and then the next pope after that -- who had been a co-judge at the trial -- undoing all of that.

I imagine that it would go something like that, complete with the ventriloquism, except that Obama is alive.

The actual constitutionality of whether or not a president who isn't in office is somewhat murky. It hasn't ever happened before, largely because it doesn't make any sense. If a former president were proven to have done something worthy of impeachment, it would make a lot more sense to address the issue through the criminal justice system than through impeachment. Also, all impeachment would do would be to prevent him from running for office again, which Obama is unlikely to do, because of a silly little thing called "the law."

There are two historical precedents for this in the United States, both of which occurred directly after the person being impeached left office in order to evade that fate. In 1797, Sen. William Blount of Tennessee quit before he could be charged with treason for helping the British steal Spanish land in Florida and was still impeached. Then, in 1876 there was William Belknap, a Secretary of War, who -- knowing that Congress was about to impeach him for taking a bunch of bribes -- ran sobbing into Ulysses S. Grant’s office with his letter of resignation. Congress was like "Not so fast, Billy!" and they voted to impeach him anyway.

However, they both ended up being acquitted because Congress was also like "This is stupid, it makes literally no sense to impeach someone who is no longer holding office."

One reason the Internet morons are hoping for impeachment -- which is, again, ridiculous because Barack Obama is not in office -- is because there is no way they would actually have enough evidence to try him in court. The other is that their president is so deeply stupid that all they can do these days is continue to scream about Obama and Hillary Clinton. It's kind of sad, really.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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