Donate


On Sunday, President Dipshit did a lot of tweeting all about how he was "hereby demanding" that the Department of Justice investigate whether or not Obama was using the FBI to spy on him during the 2016 campaign.

Inspired, Trump idiots across the internet began demanding President Obama's immediate removal from office with the hashtag #ImpeachObama.

Who is going to tell them? And how, exactly, do they imagine this would work?

I am thinking that it would be something like my second all time favorite historical incident, the Cadaver Synod (pictured above) -- in which Pope Stephen VI put his predecessor Formosus on trial for having been illegally declared Pope in the first place. However, it was a tad awkward, because Formosus was actually dead, and in order to put him on trial, they had to dig up his body and have a Deacon stand behind him doing his voice and pleading guilty to all the crimes.

Naturally, the ventriloquism act thoroughly convinced the cardinals on the jury, and he was un-Poped. So they threw him in the Tiber -- but then his dead body started doing miracles and so they sent Pope Stephen VI to jail, where he was later strangled to death. This led to the next pope re-Poping Formosus, and then the pope after that declaring it illegal to put a dead body on trial, and excommunicating all the Cardinals who found him guilty, and then the next pope after that -- who had been a co-judge at the trial -- undoing all of that.

I imagine that it would go something like that, complete with the ventriloquism, except that Obama is alive.

The actual constitutionality of whether or not a president who isn't in office is somewhat murky. It hasn't ever happened before, largely because it doesn't make any sense. If a former president were proven to have done something worthy of impeachment, it would make a lot more sense to address the issue through the criminal justice system than through impeachment. Also, all impeachment would do would be to prevent him from running for office again, which Obama is unlikely to do, because of a silly little thing called "the law."

There are two historical precedents for this in the United States, both of which occurred directly after the person being impeached left office in order to evade that fate. In 1797, Sen. William Blount of Tennessee quit before he could be charged with treason for helping the British steal Spanish land in Florida and was still impeached. Then, in 1876 there was William Belknap, a Secretary of War, who -- knowing that Congress was about to impeach him for taking a bunch of bribes -- ran sobbing into Ulysses S. Grant’s office with his letter of resignation. Congress was like "Not so fast, Billy!" and they voted to impeach him anyway.

However, they both ended up being acquitted because Congress was also like "This is stupid, it makes literally no sense to impeach someone who is no longer holding office."

One reason the Internet morons are hoping for impeachment -- which is, again, ridiculous because Barack Obama is not in office -- is because there is no way they would actually have enough evidence to try him in court. The other is that their president is so deeply stupid that all they can do these days is continue to scream about Obama and Hillary Clinton. It's kind of sad, really.

[Twitter]

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you! Click here to tip us!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

$
Donate with CC
It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc