Donate


On Sunday, President Dipshit did a lot of tweeting all about how he was "hereby demanding" that the Department of Justice investigate whether or not Obama was using the FBI to spy on him during the 2016 campaign.

Inspired, Trump idiots across the internet began demanding President Obama's immediate removal from office with the hashtag #ImpeachObama.

Who is going to tell them? And how, exactly, do they imagine this would work?

I am thinking that it would be something like my second all time favorite historical incident, the Cadaver Synod (pictured above) -- in which Pope Stephen VI put his predecessor Formosus on trial for having been illegally declared Pope in the first place. However, it was a tad awkward, because Formosus was actually dead, and in order to put him on trial, they had to dig up his body and have a Deacon stand behind him doing his voice and pleading guilty to all the crimes.

Naturally, the ventriloquism act thoroughly convinced the cardinals on the jury, and he was un-Poped. So they threw him in the Tiber -- but then his dead body started doing miracles and so they sent Pope Stephen VI to jail, where he was later strangled to death. This led to the next pope re-Poping Formosus, and then the pope after that declaring it illegal to put a dead body on trial, and excommunicating all the Cardinals who found him guilty, and then the next pope after that -- who had been a co-judge at the trial -- undoing all of that.

I imagine that it would go something like that, complete with the ventriloquism, except that Obama is alive.

The actual constitutionality of whether or not a president who isn't in office is somewhat murky. It hasn't ever happened before, largely because it doesn't make any sense. If a former president were proven to have done something worthy of impeachment, it would make a lot more sense to address the issue through the criminal justice system than through impeachment. Also, all impeachment would do would be to prevent him from running for office again, which Obama is unlikely to do, because of a silly little thing called "the law."

There are two historical precedents for this in the United States, both of which occurred directly after the person being impeached left office in order to evade that fate. In 1797, Sen. William Blount of Tennessee quit before he could be charged with treason for helping the British steal Spanish land in Florida and was still impeached. Then, in 1876 there was William Belknap, a Secretary of War, who -- knowing that Congress was about to impeach him for taking a bunch of bribes -- ran sobbing into Ulysses S. Grant’s office with his letter of resignation. Congress was like "Not so fast, Billy!" and they voted to impeach him anyway.

However, they both ended up being acquitted because Congress was also like "This is stupid, it makes literally no sense to impeach someone who is no longer holding office."

One reason the Internet morons are hoping for impeachment -- which is, again, ridiculous because Barack Obama is not in office -- is because there is no way they would actually have enough evidence to try him in court. The other is that their president is so deeply stupid that all they can do these days is continue to scream about Obama and Hillary Clinton. It's kind of sad, really.

[Twitter]

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you! Click here to tip us!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

$
Donate with CC

Is everything terrible right now? Yes. Is it a little better than it used to be, though, ever since we BLUE WAVED Donald Trump right in his mini-mushroom dick, with votes? Yes. Will it be WAY better when the Democratic House is actually seated and Robert Mueller indicts the shitfire outta all the Trump assholes? Hell yes it will. WILL TOMORROW EVER COME, AT THIS RATE? Not bloody likely.

So here, while we await joy, is something better to do with your life than read about gross Trump. Watch delightful Michelle Obama videos, from the "Ellen" TV program of jokes and dancing! As you know, Michelle O is out there promoting her book Becoming. You should pick yourself up a copy, if you haven't yet!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Florida's hand-counting of ballots is underway, and for all the Republican whining about Democrats trying to "steal" the elections for US Senate and governor (and floating insane conspiracy theories while they're at it), the recounts appear on track to confirm the results initially reported on election night: Florida's new governor will probably be Republican Rick DeSantis, and current governor and Voldemort impersonator Rick Scott will probably replace Democrat Bill Nelson in the US Senate. That doesn't necessarily mean anything is really settled, of course, because it's fucking Florida.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc