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Iowa Congressman Cannot Even Breathe, He Is Laughing So Hard About Doing Violence To Nuns

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What is the funniest joke you heard today? Did it have dicks in it? It probably had dicks in it. What is thebest joke Iowa congressman Tom Latham has heard lately?


"There's a bus-ful of nuns headed toward Washington to lobby againt the Ryan Plan. Could you, do you have any power to pull the bus full of nuns over and pistol-whip them?" When he finished hearing the radio-show host telling this great joke, Latham laughed so hard great gobs of emphysema flew from his lungs, that is how hard he laughed! Chortle chortle wheeze wheeze [he died].

That is such a funny joke! Did Adam Carolla tell it to him?

You know what we at Wonkette remember so fondly? When Catholic nuns in Central America were shoved from airplanes to their deaths, and also raped and murdered a bunch. (It was cool though, our ambassador to the UN, Jeane Kirkpatrick, said they weren't "just nuns" but were also leftists.) That is why it is particularly hilarious when people threaten to do violence to the Brides of Christ for loving poors too much. It's funny because they're uppity bitches!

[ThinkProgress]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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