Iraq Election Update: Nyuck Nyuck
Wonkette's Forward Operating Base Operative writes in with an update on the Iraqi elections, including a heart-warming scene that makes us think maybe the Lincoln Group was onto something with their Osama bin Moe sitcom idea:
As I was driving in my Stryker to a polling site to let my Iraqi born interpreters to vote, one told me he thought this election was another "poke in the insurgents eye." I thought about this, then I did the old "Three Stooges eye poke" thing to him...which he deftly parried with the old "Three Stooges hand in front of the nose" move. Then we both did the nyuk, nyuk, nyuk bit...and laughed till our balls hurt.FOBO skips over the "Tom Clancy" stuff and goes straight for Marxist Brothers right after the jump.
Well color me surprised-seems like inside of every Iraqi, there's a Floridian waiting come out. We had our own private Broward County today. The polls opened on time and the insurgents didn't really seem to want to come out and play, but there was drama none the less. About an hour into the voting, we started getting reports that Sunni polling officials in several neighborhoods decided that registered Kurdish voters were no longer registered and turned them away. Which of course angered the primarily Kurdish Iraqi Army Soldiers that were securing many of the polling sites. We are still sorting it out but it's all over but the chad counting now.
This is an example of how hard it to report the war-the. What few Americans really know is that the conflict in Iraq is not sustained by AMZ, UBL, or Al Queda, or the House of Saud...that's just Tom Clancy stuff. The insurgency in Iraq is a fight over ethnicity, tribalism, religious sectarianism and the poverty and relative deprivation these powerful tensions have created.
The foreign fighters here are just "'johnny (jihad) come latelies" looking to fight for their dying, backasswards world view. That's what not having a Reformation will do for a culture. The real insurgents here are Iraqis; mostly Sunni but of all flavors. It's the Iraqi player-haters that drive the insurgency. The Shia'a despise the Sunnis because Saddam's 20% Sunni minority oppressed them for 30 years; the Sunni hate the Shia's because with Saddam sporting a orange jumper and GI issue "birth control" glasses, they know life as a Sunni in Iraqi is now going to suck. The Sunni hate the Kurds for standing up to Saddam; The Kurds hate the Sunni for the nerve gas attacks and years of general brutalization. The Kurds bided their time under Saddam's jack boot until we established the no-fly areas after the First Gulf War (you know, "the good one") and protected them for 10 years. Now there back, they've got an army, and they're pissed.
Might not get me that White house fellowship everybody wants, but that the best analysis I can give you between mortar and IED attacks, midnight raids, and trips to the messhall.
Might seem like a real mess, but most Iraqi are like most of us...good, honest people who want peace and prosperity. Seeing free people vote for their first legitimate government should inspire all Americans, whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Janine Garofolo, or Ann Colter. As I was driving in my Stryker to a polling site to let my Iraqi born interpreters to vote, one told me he thought this election was another "poke in the insurgents eye." I thought about this, then I did the old "Three Stooges eye poke" thing to him...which he deftly parried with the old "Three Stooges hand in front of the nose" move. Then we both did the nyuk, nyuk, nyuk bit...and laughed till our balls hurt.
Thanks for the Bombay Sapphire Bunt Cake Idea, but I'll definitely take a rain check. Gin tastes a million times better slouched sullenly at the bar at the Capitol Grill.
Till next time,