Yes she is! Read it on the Internet, we did! Apparently Marian Robinson, Michelle Obama's mother, performs Satanic "Afro-Hispanic" witchcraft rituals, in the White House. Barack Obama is piping mad, because how would this affect his IMAGE? Poorly! This story and all of its quotes are true. Jane Mayer of theNew Yorker is one helluva reporter and would never make up something this incendiary. Oh... what is that, Intern Riley?... It's from Townhall, not Jane Mayer of the New Yorker?... THEN IT'S EVEN TRUER.

The Obama White House is abuzz with talk of witchcraft by first grandmother, 72-year-old Marian Robinson, who lives in the White House residence. A close friend of Michelle Obama says the president is furious at his mother-in-law after learning that she was practicing Santeria, an African spirit cult, in the White House.

[...]

This is how it happened. Marian Robinson became increasingly frustrated as her husband, Fraser Robinson, was hobbled by multiple sclerosis in the late 1980s. The family pastor prayed with her and counseled her, but "she turned to Santeria in a desperate hope," Michelle’s friend said. "Michelle put her foot down when she heard that her mother took her dad to ceremonies where they did spells and trances, and sacrificed animals, chickens and goats I think. But Marian was desperate and kept going anyway, even when her husband was to sick to go with her. I don’t think the president knew anything about this earlier because it was before they met. Michelle and Craig (her brother) wanted to close the book on this and never talked about it again after their father died in 1991."

Oh, those black people!

This is exactly how Barack Obama talks when he's angry, too -- with turns of phrase like "witchcraft mumbo-jumbo."

The president was "totally in favor" when his mother-in-law moved into the White House as a live-in babysitter for 11-year-old Malia and 8-year-old Sasha. Obama reportedly told Michelle that her mother will have to go back to Chicago if she does not "stop this witchcraft mumbo-jumbo immediately" and ordered the Secret Service to not allow Marian’s friend to return to the White House.

Jane Mayer of the New Yorker has been scooped!

Witchcraft in the White House [Townhall]