Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Israel and Hamas have reached an agreement for a cease-fire after 11 days of deadly fighting. Nothing of significance was accomplished by all the war-making, but at least 230 Palestinians were killed, 65 of them kids. Twelve people died in Israel, two of whom were children. [Associated Press]

Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs let Maricopa County know it shouldn't re-use any of the hundreds of voting machines it gave the state Senate so those QAnon-fan Cyber Ninjas could "audit" the 2020 election. The chain of custody was broken, so there's no way to prove the machines are safe to use in future elections. The county will just have to replace the machines, at a cost of millions of dollars. [Arizona Republic]


Members of the UNC board of trustees that blocked tenure for Nikole Hannah-Jones are taking some bullshit lies public, claiming she lacks the academic qualifications for tenure. We actually touched on this in our story yesterday! The position Hannah-Jones was hired for, the Knight Chair in Race and Investigative Journalism, is endowed for the very purpose of getting top-notch working journalists to teach the next generation of journos. It's not a position designed primarily for academics in the first place. (There's also the minor matter of her having a Pulitzer and a MacArthur "genius" award.) [Associated Press]

Joe Biden signed a bill aimed at curbing the recent rise in anti-Asian hate crimes. Vice President Kamala Harris said she hopes the measure will bring the country "one step closer to stopping hate, not only for Asian Americans, but for all Americans." Due to courts' excessively broad interpretation of the First Amendment, it does not provide for literally muzzling Donald Trump or his supporters. [CNN]

The CDC has, for the third time since 2019, warned Americans that because of the risk of salmonella, they should not kiss or snuggle backyard chickens. No, not even if they're really nice chickens. And not even if you're a huge Cibo Matto fan. At least 163 people have gotten sick in salmonella outbreaks across 43 states. For the love of God, people. [NBC News / CDC]

In better health news that involves no chicken cuddling, health officials say the rollout of coronavirus vaccines to kids aged 12 to 15 is going better than expected. Yes, go ahead and make your "choking the chicken" joke in the comments, you were going to anyway. [CNN]

This ProPublica story about the persistence of the Black community in Alamance County, North Carolina, against entrenched white supremacy, is very good so far. You've got people insisting their lives matter, going up against a white sheriff who's basically Joe Confederate, and who even tried to ban all demonstrations. I really will finish reading it this weekend, and that's why it's in Tabs! Written in partnership with the Raleigh News and Observer, it's also a short documentary film. [ProPublica]

Also some Climate news from the New York Times:

1) The international Energy Agency warns that we need to immediately stop building new fossil-fuel power plants, phase out existing ones as soon as possible, and also rapidly phase out internal-combustion vehicles in order to avert the worst effects of the climate emergency. It's not just a general set of guidelines, it's a detailed plan for rapid decarbonization and net zero greenhouse emissions by 2050. If you aren't a fan of the Times paywall, you can read the IEA report itself right here. [NYT]

2) This story on the terrible choices faced by the National Parks — deciding what can be saved as the planet warms, and what can't — is heartbreaking. Actually, don't read it, it's depressing AF. Or do read it and get active. [NYT]

On the somewhat cheerier side: All the sexcitement over the unveiling of Ford's new electric F-150 truck just may indicate that we're near a tipping point for electric vehicles (and yes, individual consumerism will not be enough to decarbonize. But it's still a part of the overall strategy).

As that reinvention of transportation gets rolling, there's already a growing market for converting older vehicles to electric drivetrains. Alert Wonkette Operative "Starlink Nodak" called my attention to a product being developed by GM: an electric "crate powertrain," based on the 200-HP electric motor and transmission from a Chevy Bolt. It's been used to electrify a 1977 full-sized Chevy K5 Blazer, even giving the old truck a horsepower boost over its original smog-era V8. (More detailed motorhead nerd video here.)


And here's the exciting news for Dok Zoom: the powertrain is being developed into a kit that can be bolted right into the space left by a small-block Chevy engine, which is what's in my beloved 1973 guzzlebeast, Vlad the Impala. Some day. Some day.


Also too, re the Ford pickup: we can't seem to stop shouting "Mega Power Frunk!" It's truly the most exciting thing since Carliament / Frunkadelic. Won't you take me down to Frunkytown? Check it out now, Frunk soul brother.

MEGA POWER FRUNK!!!

Get down, get Frunky.

See, this is what happens when Rebecca has others do Tabs. No recipes at all, bunch of car nonsense.

And the occasional Thornton photos. He approves of the new recliner, and taught me a new command: sit, stay. So I did!



And finally, this wonderfully goofy song by Uberkinder about that time when Paul McCartney disappeared or died and was replaced by a lookalike. It sounds a bit like They Might Be Giants, but it's not. [Rolling Stone]

Remember when we actually had to put some effort into learning about crazy conspiracy rumors? Good times, man.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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