Is Greenwich, Connecticut Too Big To Fail?


Okay so it's nine days old, but you must readthis very delightful article about the effects of the financial crisis on Greenwich, Connecticut, a town where rich people live. There had been three types of people in Greenwich, organized into a clear heirarchy: rich hedge fund managers, rich investment bankers, and lastly, filthy serfs. Then! Wall Street crashed! And the new arrangement is thus: rich hedge fund managers, slightly less rich ex-investment bankers, and even filthier serfs. This is a disaster of world-historical magnitude and Hank Paulson needs to buy Greeenwich's "middle class" new Ferraris to avoid SYSTEMIC GLOBAL FINANCIAL DEFAULT FAILURE.

Paulson understands the risk inherent in letting more rich investment bankers lose 30% of their wealth and succumb to that bleak nadir of "comfortable early retirement." Because if Greenwich fails, THEN ALL OF CONNECTICUT WILL FAIL:

As the good times rolled in recent years, the state budget became increasingly dependent on Greenwich. Despite having only about 60,000 people, the town contributed nearly $600 million in state income taxes in 2006 — more than three times the income taxes paid by the combined populations of Hartford, Bridgeport, New Haven and Waterbury. With only 1.8 percent of tax filers, Greenwich provides nearly 13 percent of all state income tax, helping to pay for schools in West Hartford and road repairs in Rockville, not to mention every other cost related to running the state.

Connecticut! Gone! Can America survive a reabsorption of this heathen separatist state back into Massachusetts Bay Colony??? If we're lucky, JP Morgan Chase will just buy it, as it has every other crappy thing ever. JP Morgan Chase puts country above self.

Then we come to famous rich Greenwich person Ned Lamont, the Senate loser who has recently been spotted bumming around for change in Denver parking lots. Ned explains how Wall Street can affect Main Street, in Greenwich:

"The roofer and the plumber and the construction guys — a lot of their year is correlated to financial bonuses," said Lamont, who has lived in Greenwich for 20 years. "It's going to immediately affect the lives of some people here more than other places around the state."

It's like the history of the American South. When cotton was booming after the invention of the cotton gin around 1800, plantation owners made lots of cash and slaves had lots of work they could do. Slavemasters called this "trickle-down economics." And then when Ted Kennedy and the liberals made slavery illegal, the slavemasters made no money and the lazy slaves had no way to fill up their time.

As Ned Lamont actually says about Greenwich in the financial crisis, "This is our Katrina."

UPDATE: Did you know that Joe Lieberman is in his 60s and has never had sex?

We'll All Feel Greenwich's Financial Pain In Our State Budget [Hartford Courant]

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Donald Trump's presidency has made white nationalism fashionable again. It doesn't help matters that social networking giant Facebook has offered white nationalists a global platform for their hate. Back in May, Motherboard obtained internal documents that revealed how Facebook planned to handle white supremacist content on its site after Charlottesville. It was incredibly stupid.

See, Facebook wouldn't let you post praise of white supremacy as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white supremacist. It would allow you to post praise of white nationalism as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white nationalist. All those tech bros and all those hoodies in the same place and they still couldn't muster the collective brain power to understand that white supremacy and white nationalism are synonymous, by which I mean the exact same thing but with a slightly different arrangement of letters.

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Is Brett Kavanaugh's Evil Twin The Real Attempted Rapist? Maaaaaybe!

Another Pulitzer for Kathleen Parker pls!


Over this past week, we have heard some fascinating excuses for Brett Kavanaugh having allegedly attempted to rape Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when he was in high school. Hey, he didn't rape us, said some ladies who knew him. It could have just been horseplay, said his spokesperson Carrie Severino! He wasn't even there, said Orrin Hatch! It totally doesn't matter anyway because he has done enough good in his lifetime that he should get to sexually assault like, one lady, said Dennis Prager! Maybe it was a false memory and she hallucinated the whole thing, said the Dilbert guy!

So many possible options. But something was missing. We didn't know it, but we felt it in our bones. And then, today, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Kathleen Parker dropped it in the Washington Post. What if it wasn't Brett Kavanaugh, she tells us all, very seriously, but rather his evil twin. Or someone who just looked a whole lot like him. Perhaps even this "Bart O'Kavanaugh" we have been hearing so much about.

Let's hear her out!

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