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At last, a Hillary Clinton ZOMGgate story that might actually be a thing! (Or might not. You never know with those wily Clintons, which is why it's generally best to assume guilty until proven otherwise.) According to an exhaustive trillion-word report by the International Business Times, the Clinton State Department authorized approximately eleventeen metric fucktons of defense contracts between corporations and countries that, coincidentally uh huh sure right, happened to donate a whole bunch of money to the Clinton Foundation and to Bill Clinton (that's her husband) for doing his high-priced speechifying thing:


In all, governments and corporations involved in the arms deals approved by Clinton’s State Department have delivered between $54 million and $141 million to the Clinton Foundation as well as hundreds of thousands of dollars in payments to the Clinton family, according to foundation and State Department records.

It just so happens that some of those countries who were allowed to get their hands on some sweet, sweet weapons were also on the official United States Naughty List of Countries That Are Naughty, like Algeria and Qatar, who were condemned by the State Department while Clinton was secretary of it, for sucking super hard at human rights, and for things like "widespread corruption" and "arbitrary killing." And yet they were allowed to buy all kinds of military hardware and chemical agents and other goodies. Plus there was a $29 billion -- yes, with a "b" -- deal to sell fighter jets to Saudi Arabia, which is supposed to be our pal in the Middle East even though its human rights abuses are pretty bad too, but the Saudis give us all that oil we need, so we just sort of ignore their naughty stuff. And yet all of those countries, who happened to have given money to the Clinton Foundation, were permitted to buy stuff from defense contractors who also happened to give money to the Clinton Foundation, HMMMMMMMMMM. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe not. But maybe?

Just before Hillary Clinton became Secretary of State, the Clinton Foundation signed an agreement generally obligating it to disclose to the State Department increases in contributions from its existing foreign government donors and any new foreign government donors. Those increases were to be reviewed by an official at the State Department and “as appropriate” the White House counsel’s office. According to available disclosures, officials at the State Department and White House raised no issues about potential conflicts related to arms sales.

IBT has long lists of names and dollar figures, if you wanna get super nerdy about it, to see just how many millions of dollars flowed to the Clinton Foundation from the same corporations that then got to sell their war-making wares to countries we maybe don't want to arm, like Algeria and Qatar and Australia. Wait, do we care if Australia has weapons? Unclear.

And then there are some law professors and ethics experts who say that OK, maybe Billary did not technically do anything bad or wrong, but it sure looks suspicious, and that's kind of a problem, because you don't want your secretary of state or your madam president (ahem) getting super rich off deals that look suspicious, even if they are technically kosher. Which is, as always, the problem with the Clintons, SIGH. Even if there's no there there, they sure do a heckuva job making it look like there's a there there, and then the entire U.S. government has to stop dead in its tracks to do investigations and subpoenas and hearings, forever and ever and EVER, to look at the there that might be there, to figure out whether the there that might be there is there after all. SIGH again.

[International Business Times]

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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