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Hey dipshit.


So, it happened. Betsy DeVos, the wildly unqualified jackass from Amway, was confirmed as the new Education secretary on Tuesday, after Democrats stayed up ALL NIGHT to explain, for the umpteenth time, why DeVos is a moron whose only interest in schools is Jesus-ing them up like a common theocrat. All 48 Democrats in the Senate voted against her, as did two Republicans, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, which means it was a 50-50 tie and Vice President Mike Pence had to creep his creepy ass over to the Capitol to cast the tie-breaking vote.

To review: 48 Democrats + 2 Republicans = 50 votes. The other 50 Republicans + Mike Pence = 51 votes. (That is a math problem that Betsy DeVos wouldn't approve of, by the way, as it does not include even one prayer or Amway product.)

The reason we clarify that math is because Jill Stein has emerged from whatever anti-vaxxer idiot rock she lives under, for to tweet this:

Yes, Democrats caved to corporate interests by voting, en masse, not to confirm the billionaire dipshit lady who only got nominated because her family gives so much money to Republicans.

Asshole says what? Because Hillary and Trump were THE SAME? Because the Democrats and the Republicans are THE SAME? Oh wait, we think the vapid dicksnort is saying she didn't actually read the article maybe, and is not aware that, again, EVERY DEMOCRAT VOTED AGAINST BETSY DEVOS. And also two Republicans, who dug deep and found their souls and brains this one time.

But why else might there have been a tie, hmmmmmm? Why do the Republicans control the Senate anyway? We wonder maybe, if Jill Stein hadn't ever been born, if we might have had a slightly different election, and President Hillary Clinton might have nominated somebody who's JUST THE SAME AS BETSY DEVOS, you bet, Hillary Clinton's Education nominee would have been JUST THE SAME either former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm or former New York University president John Sexton for her Education secretary.

HMMMMMM.

HMMMMMM, WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

Just kidding, yes we do. Jill Stein was in there depressing the vote for Hillary Clinton -- and possibly Senate Democrats! -- in the Rust Belt and effectively provided the winning margin for Donald Fucking Trump. She might've even helped depress the vote for Senate Democrats all across America! And we'd call her simply a normal spoiler if it weren't for how she pals around with the same Russian goons who helped Trump win the election by tiny margins in ... THREE STATES IN THE RUST BELT!

oh look on the left is Trump's National Security Adviser Michael Flynn also!

We don't know if Jill Stein was an active participant in any of Russia's schemes to steal the election for Trump, or if she's too stupid to do that sort of thing. (Too stupid.) What we DO know is that "Dr." Stein needs to STFU and go to hell, talkin' out her ass about, "OMG why was there a tie on the DeVos vote? I blame the Democrats because I'm too dumb to do basic counting!"

Fuck off, asshole.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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