Donate

Wonket operative "Lisa" writes in with the HOT TIP about Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker possibly making a pooty in his pants:


Hey there Wonkette,

During the live feed of Scott Walker's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial board meeting, I'm pretty sure he farted:

At 1h 1m 28-ish s, he pauses after saying the word "so," and a little poot can be heard. Some might argue that it was someone else in the room, but the timing is just too perfect. You know he had to stop talking so he could focus all his energy on trying to keep it in.

Interesting, "Lisa"! Let's crank up our Zapruder machine!

Enhance.

It took us five plays -- we were ready to answer our own headline with "no" -- but we finally heard the bloaty gas squeak of GOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER FARTING during his discussion of why he should break the teachers unions and pay the teachers less because austerity or something probs. (We assume. We did not actually listen to his words to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial board, as we had other priorities, like listening to Scott Walker farting, which as you'll agree is pretty much the same thing.)

Our verdict: Scott Walker farted during his meeting with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial board, and it's the same as him talking, the end.

Mary Burke is the lady running against Scott Walker, just FYI, if you're interested and want to give her some money.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

$
Donate with CC

Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc