It Is Always And Forever Mueller Thirty
Who feels like a Friday Mueller Round Up? YOU DO, right? Okay, let's run 'em down. Here's the latest on what is either the biggest political scandal ever to hit this country or a TOTAL WITCH HUNT. You be the judge!
Michael Flynn, the Gift That Keeps on Giving
Yesterday, Judge Emmet Sullivan unsealed a Special Counsel Memo 'splaining what a good little helper General Flynn has been. He told Mr. Mueller ever so many interesting things about the Trump campaign's boner for Wikileaks, the transition team's secret outreach to Russians, and his own discussion of sanctions with the Russian ambassador. There was also this interesting detail:
The defendant informed the government of multiple instances, both before and after his guilty plea, where either he or his attorneys received communications from persons connected to the Administration or Congress that could have affected both his willingness to cooperate and the completeness of that cooperation. The defendant even provided a voicemail recording of one such communication.
Someone connected to Congress reached out and tried to convince Flynn to keep his mouth shut to federal prosecutors? Any chance that person is a sniveling little fake dairy farmer from California whose hobbies include frivolous litigation and ninjaing out of Ubers near the White House? Are you suggesting that Congressman Cowpat might have gotten a little manure under his fingernails here? UNPOSSIBLE!
Also ... How you livin', John Dowd? The Washington Post confirms that Dowd was the genius who left the voicemail reminding Flynn's lawyer how much the president loved and cared about his client and insisting it was his right to know what Mueller had on the president for the sake of national security.
Mueller's team noted in particular that, in November 2017 — after Flynn withdrew from his joint defense agreement with the president — Trump's "personal counsel," who was Dowd, left a voice mail for [Flynn attorney Robert] Kelner that urged him to give a "heads up" if they had anything that implicated the president. He added: "Remember what we've always said about the President and his feelings toward Flynn." In a later call, Kelner repeated that he could not share information with Dowd, and Dowd grew indignant and said he believed the president would be very displeased, the report said.
You remember Dowd, he's the one who looked like a walrus without the mustache.
Judge Sullivan continues to be PISSED, and the wingers continue to interpret this as a sign that he's just about to reveal that Flynn was set up by the FBI. Because glue is delicious, we guess. Sullivan ordered the release of Flynn's conversation with Russian ambassador Kislyak and the recording of Dowd's voicemail, so we should see them some time in June. He also ordered the publication of the redacted portions of the Mueller report relating to Michael Flynn.
No doubt Bill Barr will get right on that!
Roger Stone, Still Full of Shit
Roger Stone is still banging on that he needs to get access to unredacted Special Counsel materials so he can PROVE that the Russians did not in fact hack the DNC. Roger Stone needs to just stop already.
Pat Cipollone, Like Don McGahn, But Worse
White House Counsel Pat Cipollone is utterly un-shamable. Get a load of this asshole telling House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler that congressional oversight is illegal, but if the congressman can articulate a specific legislative purpose for his document requests, the White House will take it under advisement.
Congressional investigations are intended to obtain information to aid in evaluating potential legislation, not to harass political opponents or to pursue an on authorized "do-over" of exhaustive law-enforcement investigations conducted by the department of justice.
Under the circumstances, the appropriate course is for the committee to discontinue the inquiry discussed in the March 4 letter. Unfortunately it appears that you have already decided to press ahead with the duplicate of investigation, including by issuing subpoenas, to replace all the same ground the special counsel has already covered.
THE BALLS ON THIS GUY. Like the Constitution doesn't specifically grant the power to try the president for high crimes and misdemeanors in the absence of a Justice Department prosecution. Like Robert Mueller didn't expressly state that he wasn't exonerating the president because, "Congress has the authority to prohibit a President's corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice."
Chairman Nadler was not amused.
[T]he committee has the right — indeed the duty under the Constitution — to investigate these and other related circumstances. Recent developments indicate that the objects of our investigation as to both past and current actions are needed more urgently than ever. Both the Russian threat to our elections and the President's threat to the rule of law continue.
Against this backdrop, your sweeping claim that the Committee has no right to seek documents and information related to the issues investigated by the Special Counsel is unprecedented and unsupported by law, history and practice. The Administration's position that the president cannot be indicted by the Department of Justice, and that Congress cannot investigate him, effectively places the president about the law. That claim, like your demand that the committee "discontinue its inquiry," is inconsistent with the most basic principles under our constitutional system of government.
This will get uglier.
Bill Barr, the Hackiest Hack That Ever Did Hack on Fox News
Remember a couple of days ago when Bill Barr said, "It's Bob's call whether he wants to testify." Sounds like he's leaving the decision whether or not to appear before the House Judiciary Committee to Mueller, right? Surprise! Turns out he was lying out his ass! The Wall Street Journal reports:
Legal questions on how Mr. Trump's assertion of executive privilege would affect Mr. Mueller's testimony are central to the continuing negotiations, said the people familiar with the matter. The privilege claim could prevent him from discussing details involving Mr. Trump and his advisers beyond what is in the redacted report, the people added. The Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel is weighing the questions and is expected to provide guidance, officials said.
So, they're fine if all Mueller does is read his report out loud in the Senate, but he can't answer any other questions. Who could object to such a generous offer?
Bill Barr can't talk to the Judiciary Committee, but he can talk to Rupert Murdoch's various underlings at Fox and the Wall Street Journal. This morning he repeated his lies to Bill Hemmer that the US government spied on Donald Trump's campaign. As if a bog-standard, appropriately-predicated FISA warrant to figure out why the Russians were simultaneously penetrating our voting systems, plastering social media with anti-Hillary propaganda, hacking Democratic emails, and cozying up to the Trump campaign were analogous to FBI infiltration of Vietnam War-era protest groups. Yes, he literally said that.
Bill Barr know's that SOMETHING was wrong here, although can't say WHAT. He's just going to slime the entire Justice Department generally without specifying exactly what they might or might not have done inappropriately. No matter, because President Impulse Control is ready to lock the entire FBI up for TREASON.
JFC. That's all we got for today.
Follow your FDF on Twitter!
Please click here to fund your Wonkette, who made it through another week with you guys!
Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!