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Remember the time Donald Trump bought an airline, and the whole thing was a hilarious failure? You don't? Well, the Boston Globe reported out the whole delightful story, from the tuxedoed waiters and the sky waitresses who had to juryrig their specially designed blouses so their boobs wouldn't fall out, to the literal crash landing, and the economic one! (Guess who BKed all his creditors! Did you guess Donald Trump? Fuck you are so good at this.)


Let's lift a healthy but reasonable amount from the Globe's report, before sending you off to read the whole thing!

Donald Trump Crash-Lands An Airline

When Donald Trump’s new airline, the Trump Shuttle, launched on a summer day in 1989, tuxedoed waiters with white gloves passed out smoked salmon, honey chicken skewers, and chocolate truffles. It was early in the day, but champagne flowed at Logan Airport.

After a string quartet rested its bows, Trump took the microphone and struck a discordant note: He railed against Pan Am, his rival in the shuttle business. He suggested Pan Am’s flights were unsafe, that the company was strapped for cash and couldn’t spend as much to maintain planes as Trump Shuttle.

“I’m not criticizing Pan Am,” Trump said that day. “I’m just speaking facts.”

GUESS WHO HAD A LITERAL CRASH LANDING LESS THAN THREE MONTHS LATER HINT IT WAS NOT PAN AM!

Donald Trump Pretty Sure Bankrupting Airline Was Worth It, Because He Got The Banks To Pay

“It was a great experience. I enjoyed it,” Trump said in an interview. “It was incredibly well financed. That was the days where banks put up more than 100 percent of financing.”

“I ran it really well,” he added. “But the markets collapsed. The whole thing collapsed. For airlines, real estate. Everything. It was the depression.”

He ran it really well, you guys. He was probably the best at running an airline, but then there had to be a stupid depression, thanks Obama.

Donald Trump Is Greatest Negotiator

Even at the time, Trump was widely believed to have overpaid. When his team added up how much it would cost to start such a carrier from scratch, they estimated around $300 million. [He paid $65 million more than that for old, stinky jets.] Still, they calculated that if he got about 60 percent of the market share, he could easily pay off the debt.

Could he? Could he easily pay off the debt? LOL.

Know What Else Donald Trump Is Awesome At? Interior Design

Trump wanted the planes to feel like a private jet. The wood panels were made of bird’s eye maple. The burgundy carpet was the most plush in the business, but it was too thick: The center panel had to be ripped up after flight attendants struggled to push drink carts down the aisle.

In the lavatories, Trump — who relied on an adviser who had helped design his yacht — wanted the sink to be made out of real marble. After being told the fixture would be too heavy, faux pink marble was used instead.

AND EVERY TRAY TABLE SHOULD BE MADE OUT OF GRANITE! THE CLASSIEST FUCKIN GRANITE YOU EVER SAW.

Oh, I Forgot To Mention He Spent One Million Dollars Fixing Up Each Four-Million-Dollar Plane

Trump now says he has no regrets and doesn’t feel like he overspent on the planes.

“I didn’t buy new planes. I inexpensively fixed them up,” he said. “I was feeling it out. I didn’t know if I wanted to keep it. . . . I was able to make a pretty good deal.”

Was he? Was he able to make a pretty good deal? Sure, if you mean "everybody ended up paying for it but him." Classic Trump!

How Much Money Did Donald Trump Lose? Well, None Of The Important Money (His)

Over an 18-month period, Trump couldn’t turn a profit. The Shuttle had lost $128 million.

But Trump did have one thing in his favor: leverage over his creditors. In September 1990, he missed a $1.1 million interest payment and asked the bank to defer future payments.

“One banker told me, ‘He would take down the bank, he owes so much money,’ ” Nobles said. “ ‘We can’t afford him to fail.’ ”

In late 1991, about 2½ years after Trump had purchased the airline, Trump gave up control of his prize in order to get out from a pile of debt.

As part of the deal, Trump was no longer responsible for some $245 million in loans left on the shuttle airline. In addition, out of the $135 million that Trump had personally guaranteed, at least $100 million was forgiven, according to news reports at the time.

But you guys, he had a really good time.

No, Really, Donald Trump Really Loved Owning An Airline

At the end of the day, Trump maintains, he did not lose any money in the venture. And the only lesson he learned, he said, was that he knew when to walk away.

“I got out at a good time,” Trump said in the recent Globe interview. “I walked away saying, ‘I’m smart.’ It’s good to get great financing. . . . I felt successful. The market had crashed. I didn’t lose anything. It was a good thing.”

Just think about all those losers who didn't buy an airline, spend it into the ground, and then stiff all their bankers. What a bunch of losers! They didn't even not not lose anything (of their own). What boring losers.

In other news, Donald Trump owns lots of things that aren't airlines too, and their profits are just as imaginary.

[BostonGlobe / Politico]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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