It's A 'Kick Mitch McConnell In The Dick' Contest, And Everyone Is Playing!

Well! Seems like people really didn't like Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's little comments about "blue state bailouts" and telling states like New York to just declare bankruptcy very much! And they are expressing their displeasure by punching him in the face while saying bless your heart at the same time, and it is just lovely.

It started yesterday with New York Governor/Acting American President Andrew Cuomo, who during his daily press briefing jumped McConnell's ass behind the gym, noting that hey you turtle-ass motherfucker, you wanna talk about bailouts, how about we talk about how your shitty red state wouldn't even exist if blue states like New York didn't foot your fucking bill, you wanna talk about that? Yeah I thought not.

CUOMO: Self-proclaimed "grim reaper" Mitch McConnell [...] He represents the state of Kentucky, OK? When it comes to fairness, New York state puts much more money into the federal pot than it takes out, OK? At the end of the year, we put in to that federal pot $116 billion more than we take out. His state, the state of Kentucky, takes out $148 billion more than they put in. OK?

So he's a federal legislator. He's distributing the federal pot of money. New York puts in more money to the federal pot than it takes out. His state takes out more than it puts in.

Senator McConnell, who's getting bailed out here? It's your state that is living on the money that we generate. Your state is getting bailed out! Not my state.


Cuomo continued on Twitter, because of course he did:

Is Cuomo wrong? No, of course he's not wrong. According to the Rockefeller Institute of Government, in 2018 Kentucky got $2.41 back for every dollar it paid in, whereas New York only got 91 little dumb stupid pennies. Look, a map chart of which states suck the federal teat (green ones) and which ones provide the milk (red ones):

Hope you're not red-green colorblind!Source: Rockefeller Institute of Government

Now, when Cuomo said that, we did think to ourselves about how Kentucky currently has a nice Democratic governor, and maybe it's not very helpful to that nice Democratic governor to start a fight with Kentucky right now. Charlie Pierce had similar thoughts, and he wrote them out. But for now we choose joy, and joy is watching Andrew Cuomo kick Mitch McConnell in the dick.

If you want to watch the whole clip, where Cuomo calls McConnell's dumb idea "one of the really dumb ideas of all time," click here.

Wonkette would also note that while yes, the coronavirus outbreak has hit hardest first in blue state population centers AKA the places in America people actually want to travel to, the current situation is that those blue states are starting to flatten their curves and many of the worst outbreaks in the country now are starting in Bumfuck places that, like Cuomo said, states like New York pay the tab for.

"Blue state bailout." Fuck you, just wait for Republican yokel politicians to lift all their stay-at-home orders and we'll see who's needing a bailout, McConnell. Rural areas are in grave danger right now.

Anyway, we need to move on from Andrew Cuomo, because others would like a turn kicking Mitch McConnell in the dick.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi did an interview with E.J. Dionne in the Washington Post yesterday, and as she so often does, she took the "oh bless your heart" approach to McConnell's comments:

"Look at the language of Mitch McConnell: 'I'm not bailing out blue states, they should go bankrupt.' Really? Really? How insecure is he in his own race in Kentucky to have to resort to that pathetic language?"

It's sad, really. Nancy Pelosi is just going to have to add Mitch McConnell to her prayer list.

It's not just Democrats either. GOP Rep. Pete King, who represents New York's Second Congressional District on Long Island, does not tend to mince words when Republicans try to play the whole "red state/blue state" game, which makes sense because A) he's a dick and B) he is a longtime red congressman from a very blue state. He gave Republicans SO MUCH SHIT after Hurricane Sandy devastated his district.

And now it is time for him to kick Mitch McConnell in the dick and call him "the Marie Antoinette of the Senate."

And then he went on TV and gave McConnell more shit, on the liberal fake news MSNBC network, no less.

That's right, he was PROUD to go on TV and kick Mitch McConnell in the dick.

As all patriotic Americans would be.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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