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We here at yr Wonkette are kindly sorts, for all our snark and bluster. We are grown adults with children and grandchildren even for some of us (that is your editrix, who remains spritely), and we take careful aim at bad actors because we have seen enough of the world to know that there is a war being waged in this society and it is very much one of Good and Evil.


The trouble we run into is obvious: Most people are not wholly good or evil. Most people are people, capable of great acts of kindness or of great shame. So we have, we shall say, mixed feelings when we write about a gross rapey pastor that we don't know from Adam excepting that he's got a rape scandal and the next day we find out he's gone and killed himself. (Given that said rapey pastor was also super racist and just all the other associated gross things you'd expect in this year of our Lord 2017, we are struggling to find grace here.)

We are not nice around here to rapey men. We don't think we should be, and we're certainly not going to stop doing things like calling people monsters when they have done monstrous things. That said, it is weird as fuck to wake up and find that the seekrit chat cave is taken up with chagrin and worry that we, in the aggregate, might have impacted someone to the point they'd off themselves. Not that we did anything, exactly, only we are aware that just yesterday we ran a post calling a guy part of a "human centipede of sexual assault" and then he killed himself a few hours later.

Now, we doubt that your average GOP state rep who is also a pastor reads Wonkette. (It's probably all the fuck words, because as we all know on the scale of relative morality one must avoid the fuck words even if one is molesting one's parishioners, because the Bible tells us to avoid all appearance of evil and that one's apparently a lot easier to follow than the part about don't force young girls to have sex!) But we do worry about the landscape, and our part in it.

We told you not long ago that Rape Month would lead to a lot of unintended pain and consequences for people who never did any raping at all. We here at Wonkette send out our deepest condolences to the family of Dan Johnson, a man who, from what we can gather, was not a net good for the world. He was not a man one would be proud to call a husband or son or father. He was a failson, mired in scandal as often as he wasn't, and that does not mean that his grandchildren won't miss him, and it is that innocent pain for which we are sorry.

We doubt that any of the people who were negatively impacted by the recently departed read yr Wonkette either, but to you we say: Should you ever need compassion or grace, you will find some here. We are sorry that anything ever happened to you that wasn't lovely, and we are more sad that it became national news fodder, and our hearts hurt that you have had to even consider that coming forward would lead you into more pain and hell, and we honor your strength in warning the world about someone that you knew from personal experience the world needed protecting from. We are glad your nightmare is at least partially over and we accept that we, as people who write about it, were complicit in both your pain and your brave work, and we don't know what else to say except that we will buy you a beer or a coffee anytime. Thank you. We as humans are sorry you went through this all.

We wish the recently departed had been the sort of person who would stand with courage to face his accusers and give them closure. We, those of us at yr Wonkette who have ever had someone do things we had told them were off the menu, are heartbroken for this woman who never will see justice but whose name is now inextricably linked to the suicide of her alleged molester. We are angry that we will forever have to say "alleged" about this man.

Instead we are left with questions that will never be answered and a sinking sense that for every triumphant moment of women's power, there will be a moment like this, when you don't know what to think.

We didn't know how to not address this, and we don't know what to say, excepting that we wish that Dan Johnson had kept his fucking hands to himself so that we would have had no reason to know about him to begin with.

There are no winners here.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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