It's All Fun And Games Until 'Fox & Friends' Says Trump Invented ISIS
You may not have thought there would be any "fun parts" of Trump's presidency, but we just thought of one! We think it'll be good clean FUN to watch people who like Donald Trump slowly realize that he's a dumb, senile, bugfuck crazy, batshit loser. Oh, some people will stick with him, because their brains are as broken as his is. And then there are the Q people, who are just mentally ill.
But then there are the people who inexplicably looked at Trump, and didn't see the obvious things we all saw -- that he's a poor man's idea of a rich man, a stupid man's idea of a smart man, and a weak man's idea of a BIG TOUGH GUY -- but who will, bit by bit, start to grasp over the next year or two that they were duped. We will be able to watch their little confused faces go through the stages of grief in real time, and it will be Must See TV.
"Fox & Friends" spent the morning calling Trump a fucking moron, and also saying Sarah Huckabee Sanders is full of shit right to her lying face. Here is Brian Kilmeade, telling Sanders her business about Trump's premature reverse-ejaculation from Syria:
KILMEADE: He's giving Russia a big win. Vladimir Putin praised him. He also is doing exactly what he criticized President Obama for doing. He said President Obama is the founder of ISIS. He just refounded ISIS. Because we've got 30,000 men there, and they're already striking back [in response to] our would-be evacuation. He's really on the griddle with this!
HE'S ON THE GRIDDLE, Y'ALL.
Guys? Brian Kilmeade is not entirely wrong. Sarah Huckabee Sanders just sat there shaking her head back and forth with a dumbass look on her face, and when she tried to respond, Kilmeade simply repeated "Leaving is helping" twice. When Sanders continued spewing bullshit Trump White House talking points, Kilmeade said, "The word on the ground is different from what you just said."
Now, of course, the idea that Obama is the "founder of ISIS" is a right-wing bullshit line, repeated by Trump fucking constantly (though we are 100 percent certain Trump doesn't even know what those words mean or why he says them), that takes the complex reality of Iraq when Obama pulled troops out and pins the blame on Obama for what happened next. And of course, ISIS never would have developed in the first place if Gee Dubya Bush hadn't invaded Iraq for no goddamned fucking reason in 2003. But the line is absolute wingnut canon. So yes, if you believe Obama "created ISIS," then what Trump is doing sure does look the same! Hell, quite frankly, comparing the situation on the ground in 2011 to the situation on the ground in 2018, Kilmeade's line about Trump "refounding ISIS" is actually far more accurate than the GOP line about Obama creating it in the first place. ISIS is profoundly weakened, but pulling American troops out and leaving the Kurds -- our allies in fighting ISIS -- vulnerable to getting ethnic cleansed by Turkey indeed does give ISIS an opening to regain lost ground.
(Hold us, Jesus, while we sit here and halfway agree with Brian Kilmeade.)
Kilmeade has been on a TEAR this week. He called Trump's decision to leave Syria "stunning and irresponsible," and on Thursday, he said only a VERY STUPID CHILD could agree with Trump's lie that ISIS had been "defeated." His exact wording wasn't quite that mean, but his point (and he did have one!) was that anybody who's been paying attention since 9/11 would never be so stupid as to think ISIS is completely defeated.
Brian Kilmeade is not a smart man. He doesn't understand why sharks insist on living in the ocean and thinks maybe if they just MOVE OVER, we won't have so many surfers get eated up by sharks. He's very confused why Colin Kaepernick insists on being black all the time, because aren't his parents WHITE? ONE TIME he had to say he was very sorry for saying Swedish people have "pure genes" because they don't just go off marrying everybody willy-nilly like Americans do, adding that SOMETIMES Americans marry "other species." (!!!)
But even Kilmeade can put two and two together and get "potato" and discern when some right-wing talking points find themselves in sharp disagreement with other right-wing talking points. Because really, if they're going to take it as an article of faith that Obama CREATED ISIS by pulling out of Iraq and leaving a vacuum, then doesn't that mean Trump is RE-CREATING ISIS if he pulls out of Syria and leaves ... a vacuum?
WHOA IF TRUE MIND BLOWN.
We've seen this cognitive dissonance happen in Kilmeade's brain before, like for instance when he tried to wrap his little head around why Trump stood by Vladimir Putin in Helsinki and drooled so hard he left a wet spot so large Finland decided it was a fjord and named it.
And we're going to see it again, because it kills us to say this, but we think Kilmeade is actually the smartest person on the "Fox & Friends" idiot couch, because it certainly isn't Steve Doocy or Ainsley Earhardt, which means by process of elimination it has to be him.
Wear your "smartest guy in this one particular room full of concrete-sniffing idiots" crown proudly, Brian!
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