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Donald Trump is heading out to El Paso, Texas, tonight to yell at the border and tell it to grow a WALL, and we fully expect him to lie all over again about the crime rate in that border city. Of course, we all know WHO ELSE is actually from El Paso, and for once "Hitler" is the wrong answer, because it is former congressman and Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke. As it happens, he's not particularly jazzed by Trump's plan to hold a slob picnic in his town and lie about border walls, so O'Rourke plans to take part in a march and rally to counter Trump's nastiness, in a venue just about a mile away from Trump's. Hopefully upwind.


As we've noted previously, Donald Trump sure does like to lie about El Paso! Like, even when he's not confusing it with San Antonio! He routinely says El Paso had an incredibly high crime rate until the government put in a border fence, after which crime almost vanished! Except, no, El Paso was actually among the least crimey of all cities its size, even before the border fence went in, and there was no discernible effect on crime after the fence was built. But screw the facts, Trump likes that story and will no doubt tell it again, to cheers. He'll probably leave out the part about Mexico paying for his wall, though.

O'Rourke has been working on an appropriate welcome for Trump, publicizing the "March For Truth" rally, which is being organized by the Women's March, Texas, and El Paso Democrats, and a bunch of other wild-eyed radicals who want to suggest maybe facts, not blind panic, are the best basis for border policy. Get ready for Trump to call it a march for "open borders" or some idiocy, which would fit with his lies of the past few days.

Beto has also been tweeting out messages correcting the record on his fair city. Some are very splashy.

Others go for the Policy Wonk tone, complete with linkies to more reading. because the best rallies have homework. At least that's what we've always thought.

O'Rourke even wrote his own homework essay on just how we've gotten into this stupid policy at the border and actually made things worse, if you can believe that. It's a good read! He even has some suggestions for how we could start to fix the problems at the border -- starting by not pretending there's an unprecedented "crisis," aside from the one Donald Trump has created in his very good brain. Expect something similar to this overall point in his remarks tonight:

O'Rourke seeks to counter all the screaming with facts and talking calmly, which just proves how out of touch with reality he is. Thing is, plenty of people in Texas agree with O'Rourke. Most Texans oppose WALL, and land owners are not keen on having their land taken from them -- including the site of one little chapel that's been around in one form or another since 1770 (the location, at least; the present building dates to 1899).

As for Trump, it remains to be seen how directly he'll go after O'Rourke, who hasn't yet decided whether to run in 2020. We'll assume that since Trump is in town, he'll try to insult O'Rourke, possibly by pointing out he lost to Ted Cruz, and NOBODY likes Ted Cruz, and then Ted Cruz will just eat another forkful of shit and tell Trump how delicious it was.

If you want to watch Beto's event, it should be livestreamed at KVIA-TV. The march starts around 7:00 Eastern and the rally itself is scheduled for 9:00 Eastern, opposite Trump's Bullshittathon. If you want to watch that, what is wrong with you?

[NYT / Beto O'Rourke on Medium / ProPublica / NPR]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Hello! Here a beautiful open thread for you to not comment all over, so that you don't not comment all over Dok's book club post.

I was gonna drop my Nonnie's recipe for Easter bread in here, but apparently it has to proof overnight and is also for approximately 87,000 people, so not much of a point to that! (Though here it is if you really want it. She doesn't do the egg thing, but if you want, you can put some dyed raw eggs in the braided dough before you bake. And you can add sprinkles, and anise if you're gross and like gross things) I was gonna try and make it myself last night, but have instead opted to just make waffles. Waffles are FINE.

So instead, I shall just leave you with this absolutely terrifying version of The Velveteen Rabbit starring Marie Osmond as said velveteen rabbit. Coincidentally, Marie Osmond is also Nonnie's 2nd arch-nemesis, after Rachel Ray (Rachel Ray because she doesn't pull her hair back when she cooks, and Marie for reasons I'm not entirely clear on but which I believe are related to a Weight Watchers commercial).

THE VELVETEEN RABBIT starring Marie Osmond - full length feature youtu.be


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'Unemployed men queued outside a depression soup kitchen opened in Chicago by Al Capone' -- National Archives

Happy Day Before Half-Priced Easter Chocolate Day, Wonkers! Time to wrap up our Wonkette Book Club discussion of Winter War: Hoover, Roosevelt, and the First Clash Over the New Deal, by Erich Rauchway, a historian at UC-Davis. We're increasingly convinced the book might have just as well been titled Herbert Hoover: Christ, What An Asshole! As ever, even if you haven't finished the reading, jump in anyway -- there won't be a test!

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