* A gang of rich old creepy men chant their cult-like bullshit to figure out which particular style of amoral opportunist bag of ancient shit would be a good President: its the first GOP debate!
* Cut the pandering in the room with a knife when Republican candidates talk about roe v. wade.
* Setting the dates of the '08 primaries, in which all states play the same "me first" game that was so fun in 4th grade.
* Everybody's got it wrong, the mission actually is accomplished.
* Donald Rumsfeld gets official recognition for being the fat ass warmonger we always knew he was.
* TIME magazine prints its annual pocket guide to life for geezers.
* May Day immigration protests inspire internet users to an anti-communist fervor not seen since the '50s.
* Some bullshit about DC Madam sort of happened.
* Surprise, surprise -- Dana Perino's husband has a problem with authority.