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IT'S MY DESTINY

* A gang of rich old creepy men chant their cult-like bullshit to figure out which particular style of amoral opportunist bag of ancient shit would be a good President: its the first GOP debate!


* Cut the pandering in the room with a knife when Republican candidates talk about roe v. wade.

* Setting the dates of the '08 primaries, in which all states play the same "me first" game that was so fun in 4th grade.

* Everybody's got it wrong, the mission actually is accomplished.

* Donald Rumsfeld gets official recognition for being the fat ass warmonger we always knew he was.

* TIME magazine prints its annual pocket guide to life for geezers.

* May Day immigration protests inspire internet users to an anti-communist fervor not seen since the '50s.

* Some bullshit about DC Madam sort of happened.

* Surprise, surprise -- Dana Perino's husband has a problem with authority.

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