Donate

Okay, yes, it does look BAD when a dissident reporter disappears inside your consulate and is never seen again. But there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. See, the Saudis were just trying to interrogate and kidnap dissident reporter Jamal Khashoggi, and then some bad guys wound up murdering him by accident. So, no harm, no foul, right? RIGHT?

After spending a week insisting that Khashoggi walked out of the Saudi consulate in Istanbul safe and sound, the Saudis are now admitting that perhaps they did make a wee, tiny fib, and maybe Khashoggi did get dead while his fiancée waited outside in increasing fear and panic for seven hours. The Post reports,

Over the past few days, Saudi officials have discussed issuing a statement that, in part, would mention a botched operation and call for the punishment of culpable officials, according to another person with knowledge of the discussions. The statement would be issued only after Saudi Arabia reached an agreement with Turkey on how to proceed with the investigation, the person said.

Those must be the Rogue Killers Donald Trump was guessing about yesterday. The ones who boarded two charter flights with a bone saw, coroner, and diplomatic passports in hand to meet Jamal Khashoggi for his previously scheduled appointment at the Saudi consulate. Leaving aside the plausibility of 15 guys taking a bone saw and an autopsy expert to have a conversation with one 60-year-old reporter, in what universe is Whoops, we were just torturing this guy and trying to kidnap him when he rudely up and died, so we had to cut up his body and take the pieces home in our luggage! a good explanation? How is that better?


Are they going to pretend that Jared Kushner's BFF Mohammed bin Salman was unaware that his own government officials were planning to kidnap and torture Khashoggi? Because that ship has sailed. Desperate to defend itself against accusations that it failed to warn the reporter, US intelligence agencies already leaked the existence of intercepts showing that the Crown Prince MBS ordered Khashoggi's detention. The Post reports,

The crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman, ordered an operation to lure Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi back to Saudi Arabia from his home in Virginia and then detain him, according to U.S. intelligence intercepts of Saudi officials discussing the plan.

So, it's just possible that MBS's father King Salman was telling the truth when he told Trump he knew nothing of Khashoggi's murder. But the son is BURNT. Even Lindsey Graham's as mad as a white guy confronted with decades of sexual assault and alcoholism allegations, telling Fox & Friends,

This guy is a wrecking ball. He had this guy murdered in a consulate in Turkey, and to expect me to ignore it — I feel used and abused.

At least he will be until Trump pulls on his leash and tells him to heel. Because here's Mike Pompeo showing some love for the young despot THIS MORNING.



Embed from Getty Images


And just in case that wasn't clear enough, Pompeo would like to thank the Saudis for being such wonderful partners in promoting peace on earth and fossil fuels for all men.

SUBTLE.

Meanwhile, the Turkish authorities spent hours searching the Saudi consulate in Istanbul yesterday, and they claim to have found "certain evidence" of Khashoggi's murder on the premises. By sheer coincidence, the Saudis had repainted some furnishings or rooms in the consulate and undertaken a thorough cleaning before the investigators arrived. In yet another coincidence, the Saudi Consul Mohammed al-Otaibi left the country shortly after the Turkish government announced its intention to search his official residence.

We look forward to a transparent and open investigation. Sort of. What did that paragraph up top say again?

Over the past few days, Saudi officials have discussed issuing a statement that, in part, would mention a botched operation and call for the punishment of culpable officials, according to another person with knowledge of the discussions. The statement would be issued only after Saudi Arabia reached an agreement with Turkey on how to proceed with the investigation, the person said.

Got it. So, once they've decided the outcome and agreed on a story, they'll release the negotiated conclusion. Then we can all go back to trading oil for guns as God intended. Well, maybe not all of us. MBS did just imprison a bunch of his cousins in the Ritz Carlton Riyadh and "persuade" them to hand several billion over to the government. If this Khashoggi thing goes sideways, there might be one or two princes with a few scores to settle.

Luckily, MBS got Jared's father-in-law to vouch for him. So it's all good!

THE SPICE MUST FLOW.

[ WaPo / AP / CNBC / WaPo, again / Reuters]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

We'll find you a Nice Times story ... some day. But please put a tip in the jar to keep your Wonkette snarking!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

$
Donate with CC

Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

popular

Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc