Trump Idiots Reach 'Let's Whine A Bunch More And Cry UNFAIR!' Stage Of Grief

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Donald Trump might never fully accept or even notice that he lost the 2020 presidential election, but his most devoted followers are finally facing the grim reality that the popular vote loser doesn't always end up president. The Electoral College can only do so much.

This weekend on “Fox & Friends," former "Real World" star Rachel Campos-Duffy said she “felt" for Trump and could “see" his pain and frustration, which doesn't take an empath, since Trump won't stop whining on Twitter.

"You do everything you're supposed to do. You run the country well."

An overwhelming majority of American voters disagreed that Trump ran the country “well" or at all. Trump's approval ratings were consistently underwater. He never enjoyed popular support.

"You campaign your heart out while the other guy is in a basement."

"In the end, fraud and shenanigans at the local level, you're robbed," she continued. "We've all been robbed because when the elections don't go well, when there is fraud, these kinds of shenanigans, we all lose!"

There is zero evidence of any “fraud and shenanigans at the local level." That Kraken won't hunt in the courts. But what stands out here, aside from Campos-Duffy repeating Trump's lies, is that Republicans won't let go of the “Joe Biden hiding in his basement" narrative. Trump might've held his share of unsafe, superspreader hate rallies, but he was hardly the James Brown of presidential campaigning. He often called into Fox News from the comfort of his own toilet (allegedly — we've fortunately never been in Trump's bathroom).

But even if Trump did “campaign his heart out" while Biden loafed around in his tastefully decorated basement, isn't it embarrassing, downright humiliating even, that he lost? Oh, right, Biden and his willing accomplice, Kamala “The Cop" Harris, cheated him out of his rightful second term like a sucker. That's still not a good luck for President Sore Loser.


During Saturday's pro-sedition rally in Trump's honor, senior campaign adviser Katrina Pierson declared that “if you think, for one second, that Sleepy Joe Biden is going to fake his way into the White House, then you have not been paying attention!"

We have paid attention during Trump's extended, 41-day temper tantrum. He's lost every legal fight he's picked. Although there's some honor in losing heavyweight matches to Muhammad Ali in his prime, Trump's ego won't permit him to admit that Biden is a solid candidate or even a particularly diabolical mastermind. So Trump's stooges are stuck pushing the tired narrative that Biden's a senile, old man who can't excite voters the way Trump does whenever he dances to the Village People.

Trump's rigged election fairy tales lack a compelling Big Bad. Newt Gingrich has offered up Stacey Abrams, but the sister doesn't even hold elected office. Yet she was somehow able to convince former foe Brian Kemp to help her steal Georgia for Biden at least three times so far.

And if Biden personally summoned Hugo Chavez's ghost from hell and fixed a major presidential election, while somehow getting Republican governors and election officials in Arizona and Georgia on board, maybe it's time to stop calling him “Sleepy." An impressive amount of “shenanigans" were going on in that basement.

When Homer Simpson managed to outsmart a con artist, the guy at least had the sense to insist that he was “beaten by the best." Sometimes boosting your opponent's credentials is the best thing for your professional reputation.

Trump has already expressed his eagerness for a rematch in 2024. It's unclear how Trump's (allegedly!) syphilitic brain thinks this will work (yes, ALLEGEDLY! But there's more evidence to support this non-medical diagnosis than there is for widespread voter fraud).

Trump was unable to defeat Sleepy Joe in his basement, and he commanded the full powers of the presidency. We're supposed to believe Trump can take on the sleepy commander-in-chief while in exile at his tacky Florida retirement village? That doesn't make any sense, but the MAGA crowd will hop on the Trump train nonetheless. They're all idiots, and this whole tedious post-election exercise is about stroking Trump's fragile ego at the expense of American democracy.

[The Daily Beast]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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