Ivanka Trump Has HAD IT With You People And Your Partisan Demands For Imprisonment!

White House

Princess Goya von Nepotism is SO MAD, YOU GUYS! How very dare those nasty reporters at the New York Times write true facts about her. The very nerve of those little people reporting that the Trump family businesses are under investigation by the Manhattan district attorney and the New York attorney general!

"This is harassment pure and simple. This 'inquiry' by NYC democrats is 100% motivated by politics, publicity and rage," she whined on Twitter, no doubt stamping her stilettoed feet. "They know very well that there's nothing here and that there was no tax benefit whatsoever. These politicians are simply ruthless."

Oh, yes, tell us more about the dangers of enraged partisans clamoring to LOCK HER UP their political opponents. Because the best way to make sure no one reads a story about your family business being the target of multiple investigations is to tweet it out to your 10 million followers.

And to be scrupulously fair to Her Nibs, she does have a point. Well, kind of.

There are probably a whole lot of family businesses with hinky shit on their books, including some where employees/children have side contracts as "consultants" raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars that are categorized as deductible expenses rather than regular wages which require daddy to kick up federal withholding. When it comes to hiding an illegal campaign donation in the form of a hush payoff to a pornstar in the family business and calling it a "legal retainer," the Trump family is probably unique. But they're certainly not the only ones with some fuckery in their files.

Most of those families will go about their business as usual without ever finding themselves in the sights of Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance and New York Attorney General Letitia James. Because most of those families aren't currently squatting in the White House pretending they haven't been handed an eviction notice by the American people.

If Little Miss Born on Third Base and the Royal Consort hadn't appointed themselves Grand High Ministers of Everything, despite having exactly no experience and being unable to pass a routine security clearance check, they could probably have gone on with their lives as before the election. But they couldn't leave well enough alone. They had to inject themselves into public life.

And now The First Daughter, who dutifully clapped along as her father led chants of LOCK HER UP about Hillary Clinton and hundreds of dedicated public servants who were just doing their goddamn jobs, is mad that she's getting attention from law enforcement?


If she didn't want to disclose her finances, Vanky didn't have to take a job in the White House. But she did, and that's how the New York Times worked out that she was probably getting paid consulting fees from her own family business.

Among the revelations was that Mr. Trump reduced his taxable income by deducting about $26 million in fees to unidentified consultants as a business expense on numerous projects between 2010 and 2018.

Some of those fees appear to have been paid to Ms. Trump, The Times found. On a 2017 disclosure she filed when joining the White House as a presidential adviser, she reported receiving payments from a consulting company she co-owned, totaling $747,622, that exactly matched consulting fees claimed as tax deductions by the Trump Organization for hotel projects in Hawaii and Vancouver, British Columbia.

With great power comes great responsibility, unless your name is Princess Vanky of the House of Grift, in which case you owe your subjects nothing. No tax returns, no need to refrain from using your position to endorse a political candidate, no deference to a century of democratic norms, and no heightened level of public scrutiny that comes with being a public figure endowed with the vast power of the United States government.

And so the Trump administration ends as it began, with childish tantrums about having to live up to the most basic obligations of public service by people who thought they were untouchable royalty blessed by God and genetics. But at least we get to laugh along with Walt Shaub, the former Government Ethics official who dedicated his life to the proposition that people who work for America should not abuse the public trust.

God Bless, Mr. Shaub! And as for Ms. Trump ... enjoy private life, and may it exceed all your wildest expectations.


Follow Liz Dye on Twitter RIGHT HERE!

Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, this is the link to do it.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc