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Remember all through the campaign, Donald Trump would constantly and very slowly intone that Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation were involved in "Pay ... To .. Play" schemes, as if he actually knew what that meant? Well, Josh Marshall has flagged a new thing, about how Ivanka Trump, First Lady of the United States because Melania's busy or something, has started her VERY OWN Clinton Foundation, except hers is based at the White House and it's griftier than anything Billz 'n' Hillz could ever have come up with!

It is from the shitty "Axios" website, and Marshall took screenshots of it, so we'll just steal his:

Wait, she is amassing money from Canadians, Germans and even MIDDLE EASTERNS? Didn't we have to spend the campaign constantly listening to attacks on the Clintons for taking money from corrupt and retrograde Middle Eastern regimes, money they used to foster equality and women's rights around the globe? Yes, we did! Maybe Ivanka is doing that too! Or maybe she is just grifting, now that she has been forced to "give up" her multi-million dollar fashion empire and live like a common pauper who works at the White House. As Josh Marshall asks, is she going to make money off of this? Will she be able to use her profits to buy all kinds of adorable swim trunks for Jared, who is also slumming it by being the guy who actually runs the country for his father-in-law?

And wow, she is even taking money from corporations? Really? And she's going to "pull it off" in a yooooooge way?

Another question: If this thing is actually trying to be a sort of "foundation" that "doesn't enrich the Trumps," do we even remember the Trumps' history with family foundations? They used their "charity money" to pay off Donald Trump's legal settlements and to buy beautiful portraits of Donald Trump and stuff. You know, just normal "least of these"-type stuff.

Is Ivanka going to use all the money she raises to buy beautiful portraits of her dad and herself, for female entrepreneurs around the world? Will it be this portrait?

Oh, one more question: Will corporations and Middle Eastern foreigns who contribute to Ivanka's White House Foundation For The Ladies get special treatment from the president for doing so, or do they have to do emoluments in other ways, by joining Mar-a-Lago or something?

This is just totally normal stuff and how all White Houses are supposed to work.

Anyway, we should probably investigate Hillary Clinton's emails some more.

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[Talking Points Memo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

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Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

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